Jeff Knaggs Autobiography - the 80s

• Introduction

  This chapter will cover my (our) various activities from age about 37 to 47. So the major subjects covered will be homemaking, holidays, Mr Baggins' demise, professional progress and anything else that comes to mind.
  Since this was a decade of stability with no major life-changes, I shall concentrate on our holidays, at home and abroad.

• Holidays 1980

  Venice 1980 - from our album

  We watched some Holiday Programme on the telly about Venice and thought that it looked a bit different - we booked the exact holiday that had been shown. I think that the tour operator was Pegasus (now sadly no more) and the hotel was the Luna. We arrived at Marco Polo airport after flying low over the lagoon and Venice itself. A water taxi then sped over the waters leaving a great V-shaped wake behind us - it disapeared into a maze of tiny canals then burst forth on the other side of the city, turned right, and there was The Doge's Palace and St Mark's Square in all its glory. We were deposited at the landing stage of our hotel - very posh, though it had seen better days (It is now the Luna Baglioni and rather expensive). After getting ourselves settled in, we ventured outside - St Mark's Square was about a hundred yards away and was almost deserted (it was March).

  We walked around the Piazza and through the Piazetta, past the Doge's Palace and onto the Fondamenta facing the lagoon and St Georgio Maggiore. In every one of our photos (which have sadly turned sepia) there are hardly any other tourists to be seen. We were only there for a few days, but did all the usual tourist things except taking a gondola ride (our budget wouldn't stretch that far). Although we could only speak a dozen words of Italian, we got around OK (only getting lost about twice an hour) and managed to eat and drink well at small trattorias and the like. Although it was cold, rainy and partially flooded (and decidedly spooky at night), we fell in love with the place, and were to return to Venice (and the rest of Italy) many times in the future.
  I shall see if I can find the original negatives for these pictures and get them processed again.

  View from Balcony

  Otters

  Our second holiday that year was to Norfolk. We found a place in one of those "Country Cottages" brochures - it was the upper floor of an old mill near North Walsham, between Norwich and the coast. There was a big living room with a kitchen area, a bedroom and a bathroom - everything was wooden. There was a little dining area with a tiny balcony overlooking the garden with the mill-stream running through it. We spent most of our time touring around Norfolk. In Norwich, we visited the cathedral and some other old building, and ate there several times (We enjoyed Tatler's, where they played music rather loud but the food was very good - including samphire eaten with melted butter and fingers to match). We had a more expensive dinner (Lobster) at "The Parson Woodford". We also visited the Otter Sanctuary and Blickling Hall, a National Trust country house and garden.
  

• At Work 1980

  I was promoted twice in 1980, first, in February, to Senior Systems Programer grade 2 then, in October, to grade 1. In my seven years at British Aerospace my annual salary had risen five-fold - that's why we could now afford all these foreign holidays.

• Holidays 1981

  Our first holiday that year was to Florence - our first return to Italy. We stayed at a hotel overlooking the Arno, and had a standard tourist itinerary, visiting the Uffizi gallery, the Duomo, Baptistry and all the famous churches and other sights. It was a good holiday, and we saw lots of fine art and architecture, but we much preferred Venice.

  Around Wengen

  Atop the Schilthorn

  By a Frozen Lake

  From the Three Passes

  Our second holiday, in June, was to Wengen, in Switzerland's Bernese Oberland. We went there on the advice of two colleagues, Robert Staddon and Barry Chandler, who both raved about it. We flew into Basle (I think), and were driven in a coach through Interlaken to Lauterbrunnen at the bottom of the valley. From there we took the rack-and-pinion railway up the steep slope to Wengen and found our hotel, a typical Alpine building. We had a reasonable dinner, then went for a short stroll but the weather was cloudy and you couldn't see anything. When I woke up the following morning and looked out of the window I nearly fell over backwards - there was a crystal blue sky, green pastures sprinkled with cows and those mountains! I can't remember the names of them all, but the most impressive was the Eiger - dominating the landscape.
  We did quite a lot of walking that week - mostly along tracks (Wanderwegs) that were clearly signposted, not by distance, but by the time it takes to walk them. We were often overtaken by little old ladies with boots and sticks - we just wore our ordinary clothing. One day we walked up our mini-mountain to Kleine Scheidegg and caught the train back. On another we walked down to the bottom, along the valley (those cow bells are noisy!) and got a cable-car up the next mountain (the Schilthorn) that had a rotating restaurant on top of it. I'm told it was featured in some James Bond film that I have never seen. It was a most impressive sight from the dinner table, but I'm not sure what we ate - we don't speak a word of German and the waitress didn't speak any English! We walked back along a ridge and back down in a funicular railway. On another day we caught the train that ascends up through the middle of the Jungfrau and comes out at the Eiger Glacier - cold but impressive. We also had a couple of coach trips - on the one around "The Three Passes" you had to close your eyes on some of the bends and just hope. Maybe we will go back one day.

  We had a third holiday that year - a long weekend in Suffolk. It's not quite so mountainous as Switzerland, but has its charms. We stayed at an old coaching inn in Ipswich that could have come right out of Dickens. On the coast, we visited Dunwich (the village that is now under the sea), Minsmere nature reserve and Aldeburgh. Inland, we visited Flatford Mill (Constable country) and a country house with a moat that might have been Melford Hall (but I'm not sure). We had an excellent lunch at The Buttery, at Orford. This is a small, crowded restaurant specialising in very simple but very fresh seafood.

  Suffolk Landscape	On a Suffolk Beach

  
  

• Home Computing

  In February 1982 I bought my first home computer, a BBC model B microcomputer - complete with a cassette recorder. It had a truly tiny amount of memory, much of which was taken up by the operating system. But it was really very good; I particularly liked the version of BASIC that was a joy to program in - it even included an assembler that you could call up from inside the BASIC programs. But saving files to cassette tape was a chore and, the next year, I installed a disk interface. In March 1986, I traded it in for a BBC Master and, in the following year for an Acorn Archimedes. You can read all about these wonderful machines on Wikipedia. Although I eventually bought the first of several PCs running Microsoft Windows, it wasn't until 2014 (when I moved to a small flat) that I gor rid of the Archimedes.
  

• Holidays 1982

  In April 1982 we visited France for the first time - a long weekend in Paris. We arrived at Charles De Gaulle airport and were driven by coach to our hotel - a bit of a dump, with a tiny bedroom, but close to the heart of Paris.

  Notre Dame de Paris

  While we were getting ready to go out for dinner, I turned on the telly. First there was a strange game-show with words and numbers - this was to become Countdown, the longest running daytime gameshow on British telly (we still record it to watch later). Then, on the news, the Falklands were erupting. Our French is passable, but we couldn't really make out what was happening - more on that in the next item. In the next few days we did most of the usual tourist things - visiting the Louvre, the Champs Elysee, Notre Dame, boat trip down the Seine etc. The one thing we didn't do was go up the Eiffel Tower. You know all these places - I won't describe them.
  The food was a bit mixed. We had a reasonable Salade Nicoise somewhere near the Madeleine, a very respectible Steak au Poivre, in the Rue des Capucines, something truly awful on the South Bank, and a very fine lunch at a restaurant near the Isle de France (though the lamb was a bit pink for Maureen). At that restaurant, one of the other guests was incredibly pale and didn't move - at one point we thought he was dead!

  Our second holiday that year was to Scotland. Mr Baggins stayed with Maureen's parents, as was usual then. As I had never driven that far before I greatly overestimated how long it was going to take us, and had booked us in for a night at a hotel in Richmond, North Yorkshire. We drove up the A1 and it was obvious we were going to get there too early so we made a little detour and had a long walk along a wooded river valley in Wharfedale - very pleasant. Our room at the Frenchgate Hotel was rather cramped but the evening meal was quite good.

  It was on this holiday that Maureen started to keep a detailed diary - so there should be more details from now on - e.g.

  Dinner - Saturday 15 May 1982 Starter - Pear and Walnut Salad in Yogurt Sauce (Maureen), Mackerel (Jeff) Main Course - Sea Trout in Prawn Sauce (Maureen), Fillet Bourgygnon (Jeff, garlic!!) Afters - Chocolate Brandy Cake (Maureen), cheese (Jeff) Bottle of French white wine, coffee in the lounge.

  Stop me if this gets too boring.

  So, after a hearty breakfast we were on the road again and turned left at Scotch Corner, across the top of the Pennines (fairly spectacular), up the A6 to Carlisle and over the border at Gretna Green, stopping for lunch in Dumfries (fish and chips as everything else was closed). The scenery was getting decidedly Scottish as we ended up at the Milton Park Hotel in St John's Town of Dalry (no, I had never heard of it either). We went on a circular tour, through Galloway Forest Park, Gatehouse of Fleet and Castle Douglas before returning in time to get ready for dinner. We realised that we didn't have a key to our room and discovered that they don't bother with such things!

  Dinner - Sunday 16 May 1982 Orange juice, then Seafood Cocktail (with mussels) Roast Galloway Beef, vegetables and Yorkshire pudding Peach Pavlova then coffee in the lounge

  On the telly in the lounge, the final of the Snooker tournament was in full swing. Everybody else was for Ray Reardon, but we wanted Alex (Hurricane) Higgins to win. It was very close, but the hurricane won and was very emotional as he received the trophy.
  

  Wild Goat

  The next morning, after a Scottish fry-up, we went for a drive, stopping at Castle Kennedy for a walk around the grounds (Azaleas, Rhododendrons etc) - we just had a cup of tea and a cake for lunch. In the afternoon we walked a trail through Glentrool Forest and back to the hotel via the wild goat park. That evening, apart from a threesome having dinner, we were the only guests at the hotel.

  Dinner - Monday 17 May 1982 Minestrone soup with Parmesan cheese, Danish hors' de ouvres (scrambled egg with caviar) Fresh Salmon (enormous) with Mayonaise, vegetables and salad Half a bottle of Chablis Strawberries & cream (Maureen), Brie (Jeff)

  We went out for a stroll after dinner and found a small lake which we named Loch Baggins.
  Next day, after haggis and oatcakes etc (no need for lunch again), we had a small panic when we realised they didn't take credit cards. Luckily Maureen had her cheque book, so we were soon on the road again. We drove up through Glasgow and Helensbrough to Loch Lomond, where we booked into the Lomond Castle Hotel. We went to Balloch and had a pleasant boat trip around part of the loch, followed by a trip to the Wildlife Park and a circular drive to admire the scenery. The restaurant overlooked Loch Lomond.

  Dinner - Tuesday 18 May 1982 Smoked Mackerel Salad Vichysoise (hot!) Venison à poirve with a selection of vegetables a bottle of Haut Medoc Cheesecake (Maureen), Peach Gateaux (Jeff) large cups of coffee

  Breakfast next morning was rather hit and miss as a conference party had arrived and they were too busy. We checked out and drove north along the loch, up Glen Falloch, down Glen Lochy to Lochawe and past the impressive Cruachan hydro-electric power station. On through the Pass of Brander and then a very narrow road to Kilchrenan, and Ardnaiseig - a hotel whose grounds are open to the public. We spent some time in the gardens and woodland and then went in for lunch (we were shown into the library). It was very elegant and really much too posh for us. We had delicious fish mousse with toast, and some white wine, and then sweets off the trolley - chocolate mousse with rum and raisins (Jeff) and lemon souffle (Maureen). We had a chat with the young waiter who said he didn't like the work or the people, but it was either that or forestry.
  A very short ride then brought us to Taychreggan Hotel where we were offered a very nice room in the new extension.

  Timber Trail

  We bought a leaflet describing local Forestry Commission walks and drove south along the lake to a car park near Dalavich - setting off on the Avich Falls walk. It was about an hour's walk up through deciduous woodland near a river, over a bridge and back down forestry tracks and a public road - views of the falls in both directions. A little further along the road we did the Timber Walk - descending through sitka firs to a forest road running along the loch - with a view of a crannog - then back through larches. We drove to the bottom of the loch, and then took the main road up the coast, turning off at Kilmelford - an unmarked hairpin bend was a surprise that we only just survived! All of the road back to the hotel was very hairy, so we took it slowly and got back in time to rush down to dinner - which was the best of the holiday.

  Dinner - Wednesday 19th May Paté Loch Awe Salmon with hollandaise sauce, new potatoes, green beans and carrots Raspberry cream crunch Blue Brie (Maureen), Stilton (Jeff) bottle of Beaune Blanc Coffee in the lounge

  We went for a stroll around the grounds and then retired to the bar where Maureen had a Grand Marnier and I had a Drambuie, and we listened to a fascinating conversation between the hotelier and his friends.
  Breakfast there was very good and we decided to stay for a second night (no problem).

  Easdale

  We drove first to Oban (not impressed) and then south, over Telford's "Bridge over the Atlantic" to the Isle of Seil, where we stopped at Easdale. The weather had been drizzly but now it was sunny and warm and we just sat on a rock and read and looked out over the sea to the Isle of Mull. Back to the mainland and south to Arduaine for a salad lunch and a look round the gardens. South to Lochgilphead and then north along Loch Fyne, stopping at Auchindrain - a very interesting open-air museum. We bought some gifts for our mums at the craft shop and then continued back to the hotel (Inverary was closed!). A sherry in the bar, then . . .

  Dinner - Thursday 20th May Venison paté (very tasty) Local Sole with real tartare sauce (Maureen), Chicken Kiev (Jeff) bottle of Pouilly Fumé Coconut ice-cream (Maureen), Pineapple in Kirsh (Jeff) Selection of cheeses Coffee in the lounge

  After another excellent breakfast we hit the road again, heading south under grey skies, stopping for some surprisingly good fast food at a Little Chef, we got to Moffat about 2.30 and booked into the Moffat House Hotel. We looked around the town, bought some Moffat Toffee, and went into the churchyard. The man mowing the grass showed us the grave of McAdam (Tarmac roads) and told us a dodgy story about the statue of a ram. We got some leaflets from the tourist office and took a trip to The Grey Mare's Tail (a waterfall) then via St Mary's Loch and Tweedsmuir, back to the hotel.

  Dinner - Friday 21st May Individual cheese soufles Chicken soup with rice Veal escalopes (Jeff), Honey-baked ham (Maureen, far too much honey!) dodgy wine Raspberrys didn't bother with coffee

  Watched the progress of the war on the telly in the lounge, went to bed, and drove home in the morning - through an insignificant little town named Lockerbie.
  Got back to work to discover that everyone was on constant standby because of the Falklands and that all holidays were cancelled - luckily they had been unable to contact me to get me back. The Ministry of Defence were supplying lists of spares etc daily and IMS was running continuously with no interuption allowed for any reason without a member of the board saying OK.

• Demise of Mr Baggins

  Saturday morning, the eighth of January 1983, I got up as usual to make a pot of tea. I could see Mr Baggins stretched out under the swivel chair in the living room. Nearby was a big hairball that he had sicked up, so I cleared it up and, when I returned he hadn't moved. I stroked him and he was cold. I called up to Maureen and she came down very distraught. Eventually we put him in a shoebox and buried him in the front garden, later planting a miniature rose bush over him. His fur was still very soft and sleek. We couldn't stop crying all day - it was a good job it was a Saturday and we didn't have to go to work.

  Mr Frodo Baggins - April 1971 to January 1983 - R.I.P.

• Holiday #1 1983 - Lake Iseo

  For our first holiday we returned to Italy - this time rather off the beaten track. We travelled with "The Magic of Italy" to a Sale Marasino, a small resort on Lake Iseo. "The Magic" was a small tour operator specialising in Italy - sadly it has now broadened its horizons to other countries, specialised in villas and only popular resorts, and become "The Magic Group" - not what it was.
  We had an early flight from Gatwick Airport so booked into a nearby motel for the night. Our flight, which only had 28 people on board and was only 10 minutes late, left from the satellite which was connected to the main terminal by an automatic shuttle train. Breakfast on the flight was a standard English fry-up; weather was good, but there was heavy cloud over the Alps so we couldn't see them. Bit bumpy on the descent into Treviso, a military airport with a very small civil terminal attached. There was no waiting around, and we were met by the Magic rep, Jenny Morton. We were the only people going to Lake Iseo so we had a minibus to ourselves - driving for two and a half hours through flat agricultural land with crops, meadows and vineyards (Soave and Valpolicella). Earlier rain had cleared up by the time we arrived at our hotel (La Posada), and were met by the proprietor, Waldes Morandi, and shown to our room which had a view up the mountainside.
  We went out to look for lunch, but it was a small place and we couldn't find anywhere - we had a chocolate ice-cream to keep us going. We had a walk along the lake front, and found the church, the boat-stop and a small outdoor market. There were lots of men fishing, and lots of lizards sunning themselves. We went back to the hotel and had a drink in the bar before getting ready for dinner. Apart from Jenny, we were the only guests - we couldn't practice our Italian as Waldes wanted to practice his English (very few foreign tourists here).

  Dinner - Monday 9th May 1983 Vegetable soup (Jeff), Antipasto (Maureen) Escallopes of veal with spinach (delicious) Bottle of house white wine Cheese (Jeff), Ice-cream (Maureen) Coffee in the lounge

  The local train line behind the hotel woke us up early, and we had the usual continental breakfast with a cappuccino. We took the ferry to Montisola (the largest island on any European lake), landing at Carzano and started to walk to the Sanctuary at the top. The mule-track was steep and rather rough (no walking boots in those days) and we pased workers making hay or tending their vines, and walked through meadows of long grass with purple, blue, pink and white flowers - the cow-bells made it just like Switzerland.

  Medieval Village

  We walked through two little villages (Novale and Olzano) that could have been medieval. Most of the locals were friendly but we got the occasional stare. By about 11 o'clock we were only half way up and it was getting hot and sunny - so we descended by a different route, through Senzano and more fields of flowers and fine views of the lake to Pescheria. This is a fishing village with net-making as the local industry. After wandering about for a bit we tried the Albergo Milano for lunch. There were a couple of locals eating pasta, and we got a table overlooking the lake. There were no menus, and an old lady came to take our order but didn't say a word. I managed some sort of sentence and she replied with a short list of pasta dishes. We had penne in bianco (with butter and cheese); it was a generous portion and quite delicious. Then a mixture of basic Italian and pointing at what the locals were eating brought us grilled trout and a salad of lettuce and tomatoes.

  Lakeside - Montisola

  We had a half litre of white wine that was poured out of a cask. Watching the locals was an education in itself - they had fresh fruit for dessert which came with a big bowl of water (used for washing off the agrichemicals). The bill was £20,000 - thats Lire not Sterling! In the afternoon we walked clockwise around the island, up to Sensole, through Menzino, passed some holiday villas, through Siriano and back to Carzano, then caught the 4.40 ferry back to Sale Marasino and sauntered back through the town to the hotel.

  Dinner - Tuesday 10th May 1983 Risotto with Funghi (lovely and creamy) a large thin Beefsteak with mixed salad Fresh fruit (grapes and a pear) (and a large bowl of water which we knew what to do with) Bottle of Valpolicella Coffee at the table

  Next morning it was back over the ferry to Carzano, and we walked along the lake to Pescheria.

  Above Pescheria

  A little terrier dog had attached himself to us, and was showing us the way, but he transfered his allegiances to an Italian couple as we turned up towards Sensole. Down to Menzino and up to Rocca, then into Sensole where it was a white kitten that followed us before being rescued by his owner. Into Pescheria for lunch at the Trattoria Archetti. Maureen started with Lasagne al Forno and I had Pastini in Brodo. Then we had Corregone (a white fish from the lake) - both grilled and fillets in breadcrumbs - served with tomatoes. Although this restaurant had a menu, most of the items were off that day (and the toilets were a hole in the ground).
  After lunch we walked back to Sensole and took a steep narrow track up through woodlands towards Senzano. Then the main road was a long climb up to Cure, where we sat on a seat overlooking the lake and were talked to by a couple of young girls (but our Italian wasn't really good enough yet for a proper conversation). We meandered back to Carzano and caught the same ferry back to Sale Marasino where we looked through the market, and inside a small church behind the hotel.

  Dinner - Wednesday 11th May 1983 Pasta (snail shapes) with a creamy, meaty sauce (delicious) Saltimboca (veal and ham) with Artichokes Bottle of Franciacorta (white) Cheese (Jeff), ice-cream (Maureen)

  Next morning was nice and bright. Jenny picked us up in her car just after 10 and we drove down the lake to Iseo then around to Lake Garda. She made a detour along the lakeside at Salo and then dropped us off in Gardone. We walked along the lake-side promenade and investigated the town. There were lots of places to eat but they all looked the same - we chose one at random that turned out to be full of Germans, so that's what the waitress thought we were (and wouldn't talk Italian). We started with spaghetti with a nice tomato sauce, then I had roast veal and Maureen had grilled trout. I finished off with cheese and Maureen had a cream caramel. We were flummoxed by the bill which was in German.
  Afterwards we walked up the road to the Botanic Gardens which kept us amused for an hour or so, then we wandered back to meet up with Jenny. She was in a lake-front café talking to one of the hoteliers she had come to meet - we had a coffee while waiting for her. On the drive back we skirted the lake to Sirmione (a peninsula sticking up into the lake). We had an hour to ourselves here, and we walked past a big medieval castle into the town (a mixture of tourist shops, bars, and luxury hotels) and up towards the Grotto di Catullo (but turned back bacause of an overpowering sulphurous smell). We sat on the promenade watching a big paddle steamer come in while waiting for Jenny - then it was back to the hotel (through a heavy rain storm at Iseo). We had missed all the bad weather luckily.

  Dinner - Thursday 12th May 1983 Zuppa di Parvese (Jeff - clear soup with bread and egg), Antipasto (Maureen - ham and salami, rice salad with smoked sausage and cheese) Fillet Steak with spinach Cheese (Jeff), Strawberry and Almond "Cake" (Maureen) Bottle of Franciacorta (red)

  The next morning we got up a bit earlier than usual and caught the ferry to Iseo for the weekly market. The boat, which went via a couple of stops on the island, was rather crowded with locals. The market stalls were quite interesting, especially the ones selling food. We wandered round the town and saw some nice old churches and the castle. Not much else to do there, so we caught the ferry back to Sensole and walked towards Pescheria. It started to rain, so we went into the Albergo Forest for lunch, where were allowed to order in Italian and were actually understood. Maureen started with Ravioli and I had Lasagne. Then we had Corregone fillets in breadcrumbs again, with a nice salad of lettuce, tomatoes and sliced radish.

  High on Montisola

  As the weather didn't look too good we made it a long lunch - Strawberies with lemon (Maureen), Cheese yet again (Jeff) - then coffee. All very good but the toilets were holes in the ground again.
  After lunch the weather had brightened up so we walked into Pescheria and caught the bus up to Cure. From there it was a fairly easy climb up to the Sanctuary at the peak, past a number of roadside shrines. There were good views from the top, but the church itself was locked up. We walked down to Cure, then through Masse (very medieval, with the usual netmakers), down a mule track to Siviano and then round to Carzone. Then back to the hotel on a later than normal ferry.

  Dinner - Friday 13th May 1983 Rollate - baked pasta with ham, cheese and spinach Grilled Trout (Maureen), Veal chop (Jeff) both with chips Bottle of house white Cheese and ice-cream as usual

  We missed the ferry to Sulzano, so walked there instead. It was quite reasonable walking, through meadows and vineyards and, at the highest parts, views over the whole lake. We climbed up to the same level as the Sanctuary and it was sunny and getting rather hot so, when we came to a road that descended towards Sulzano, we took it. We had a quick look round the town and then it was time for lunch again (Have you noticed the emphasis on food in these holidays?). We had gnochetti verdi in mozzarella and tomato sauce (very good) then fillets of sole with chips and salad chosen from a trolley. Then Maureen had strawberries and I had a mixture of fruit for a change, and we finished up with coffee. We had had a bottle of water with our usual half litre of house white wine as we were thirsty after our hot walk.
  We walked back to the lakeside and while waiting for our boat it came over dark and started to pour with rain. We went to the bar in the square and had a coffee while waiting for the boat - it was very prompt and we had to hurry on as it was leaving. It was still raining when we got back to the hotel, where a wedding party was in full swing. That one finished and then another one started about 7 o'clock. We went down just before 8 and were shown into a corner of the wedding party room, where Waldes came and told us what we were having - but it was so noisy we couldn't hear him and just waited to see what would turn up. It seemed to be a selection of the (dozen or so) wedding courses. First course was an antipasto of ham and salami with rice and vegetable salad with squid, octopus and other seafood. Then we had a crepe rolled with ham and cheese baked in the oven. Service was very slow but it didn't matter as there was lots to look at. Then there was veal with woodland funghi (Waldes said they probably weren't poisonous) and chips. About half way through the meal the wedding party stopped for a dance, and then resumed eating. In the next long wait we finished our wine and water, then I had some sort of cake and Maureen had ice-cream. The bride and groom circulated and had their photo taken with each table - it was VERY NOISY.
  It's now Sunday morning and there are four new English tourists who arrived last night and are complaining about everything (especially the NOISE that lasted until three). It was raining lightly again but we walked down to the church where there was supposed to be a festival that day. It was busy with the morning mass, so we couldn't really look round. We walked round the town and had a look at the Villa Martinengo. Lunch that day was at the Albergo Grillo (meaning cricket). First thing to arrive was a very generous half litre of vino bianco (you know what that means by now). To start, we had an antipasto of prosciuto cotto and crude with salami and a rice salad with red kidney beans. Then there was big homemade ravioli with a tomato and oregano sauce. The next course turned out to be roast pork with chestnut stuffing and a bowl of pickled vegetables - very tasty, but very filling. Coffee came with tiny strawberry and apple flans, and when I paid the bill (£33,000) I was offered a small chocolate Easter egg! There were lots of Italians, including children, in the restaurant and they all walked around between courses. It was still raining, so we went back to the hotel and packed for our return - another wedding in full swing. At dinner, the other English tourists had the wedding selection, but we had . . .

  Dinner - Sunday 15th May 1983 Prosciuto and Melon Grilled trout with a mixed salad bottle of Soave Cheese and ice-cream as usual a Grappa and a Sambuca with our coffee

  Settled our bar bill and gave Claudia the waitress her tip.
  Last morning, up at 6.30, no proper breakfast and off by taxi with Jenny back to the airport where we had a ham roll and a glass of wine. The plane was 45 minutes late taking off and was very bumpy through all the clouds. We got home about 3.30, very tired, in a thunder storm.

• Holiday #2 1983 - Sark

  Two cats lived a few houses up at number 1. Suzy was the most adventurous, Tufty (because of his whiskers, don't know his real name) was the most friendly. Tufty often used to visit us after Mr Baggins had died, and we had a cup of tea with him on the morning of our departure. We set off about 11 o'clock and drove towards the local airport at Cambridge, stopping for a ploughman's lunch at "The Ancient Shepherds" in Fen Ditton. Cambridge had only a small airport with a little waiting room and a small refreshment place outside.
  We took off on time in a Vickers Viscount turbo-prop - a nice smooth flight to Jersey, where we picked up our luggage and checked in with the second airline. We had a Pepsi and a danish pastry while waiting. The flight to Guernsey was in a 16 seat Britten Norman Trislander - wonderful low-level flight with perfect views all around. The Premier Travel rep met us at Guernsey airport and transfered us to the docks in a mini-bus. After a 30 minute wait a small boat took us to the small island of Sark. There are no cars allowed on Sark, but none of the waiting tractors was for us - someone phoned the hotel for us and it seemed that they didn't know which boat we would be on. We got a lift to the top of Harbour Hill and sat on the grass to wait. Eventually Mr Peree turned up with his tractor and a sort of metal box on the back. Maureen sat in the box with the suitcases and I walked until outside of the town then sat behind the driver. This is illegal, and at La Coupée we bumped into the Seigneur (the feudal chief - though he used to work for British Aerospace). We arrived at our little hotel, La Sablonnerie, tired and dusty and dinner was just starting. Our room was very small, and the bathroom and toilet were through the dinning room - not very convenient. We shared a table with a Scottish couple (Donald and Eva McDonald) who were OK.

  Dinner - Saturday 16th July 1983 Waldorf Salad (Jeff), Asparagus with York Ham (Maureen) Iced Cucumber Soup Salmon with Lemon sauce, potatoes, courgettes and broad beans Fresh Fruit Salad then Cheese bottle of Chablis Coffee in the garden (to cool off)

  
  In the morning, after a cooked breakfast, we first looked around the hotel gardens - quite pleasant. Then we went looking for the Venus Pool, following several paths without success (I found it later). We walked past some old mine workings, a deep rocky inlet (Port Gorey), and through Duval Farm down to Les Fontaines. We sat on the side of the cliff for a while and then walked back to the hotel, meeting a man from yesterday's boat trying to photograph puffins. Lunch was tomato and onion salad, seafood vol-au-vents and fresh fruit salad and coffee in the garden.
  We changed for the beach, and walked to La Coupée - a narrow isthmus joining Sark to Little Sark, with sheer descents each side. We climbed down to the beach on the West side at Grand Grève and found a small piece of sand by some rocks. The tide was going out, revealing a nice sandy beach. There were pebbles to cross, but there were interesting rock formations and pools to explore. We spent a lazy afternoon there - reading, dozing and paddling in the sea. The climb back up wasn't too bad, and we were back in time for dinner.

  Dinner - Sunday 17th July 1983 Frogs Legs in Garlic Butter Lobster Bisque Mackerel with Gooseberry sauce (Maureen), Greek-style Lamb (Jeff) Orange segments with green figs, then cheese bottle of Fleurie (a red Burgundy) Coffee in the lounge

  After breakfast (Haddock for Maureen, fryup for me) we were told that Mr Peree was running a boat trip. Se we changed from shorts to trousers and walked down to the Old Harbour, where we waited with some other guests and an ancient mariner.

  Mr Peree's Boat

  We were put at the front of the boat - a bit cramped but with good views. The weather was sunny and the coastline was very rocky, with caves and inlets, small pebbly beaches and the Venus and Adonis pools. There were lots of birds on the rocks - gulls, terns, oyster-catchers, but the puffins had gone. We landed at Havre Gosselin and climbed a short way up to eat our packed-lunch (not very good) and, as a sea mist had rolled in, there wasn't much of a view. It cleared as quickly as it had come, and off we went again, clockwise around the north west of the island and back to the Old Harbour by 3 o'clock. We climbed up Harbour Hill, had a quick look around, and walked on to Grande Grève where Maureen changed into her bikini and I had a swim. We stayed there a couple of hours and it was dinner time again.

  Dinner - Monday 18th July 1983 Artichoke Hearts Mornay Stilton and Port Soup Grey Mullet with Mustard sauce (Maureen), Pork Tenderloin with Cider sauce (Jeff) Sherry trifle (Maureen), Fresh fruit Salad (Jeff) then Brie bottle of Puilly Fumé

  Donald went off to find the shirt he had left on the beach, and we went to the bar with his wife for coffee and liqueurs. Mr Peree was behind the bar, and I gave him a £5 donation to the life-boat, in lieu of payment for the boat trip. Donald had found his shirt and ordered a bottle of Champagne to celebrate - got to bed before midnight.
  
  

  La Sablonnerie

  We just had orange juice and a continental breakfast the next morning, then went in search of the Venus Pool and found it easily - though the descent to it was a bit too tricky for Maureen. Then we walked all the way round to the end of the headland, over the Jupiter Pool, and had a sun-bathe on the rocks. We continued to Port Gorey and back for a long cool drink before lunch, which was tuna salad, then a plate of cold turkey, beef, ham and salami with salad followed by fresh pineapple (Jeff) and lemon sorbet (Maureen) - then coffee in a shady part of the garden. Sunbathing on the beach in the afternoon was more crowded than usual due to French people from 10 yachts moored in the bay - most of the young ladies were topless (not Maureen). Then back to the hotel for a very good dinner.

  Dinner - Tuesday 19th July 1983 Avocado Mousse Borsch Coquilles St Jacques Fresh Raspberries (Maureen), Zabaglione (Jeff) Brie bottle of Pinot Chardonnay

  Then coffee and liquers in the bar with Donald and Eva.
  

  Seigneurie Gardens

  The next morning, we took a packed lunch (with extra fruit) and walked to the Seigneurie, arriving just after 10. The gardens were quite pleasant, especially the colourful walled one. We walked north to Eperquerie Common (colourful heather) and found a sheltered spot on some rocks overlooking Les Autelets and Brechou, and had most of our lunch, with a bottle of ginger beer bought from the bar. On the road back to The Avenue we met the puffin man again and had a long chat. Then we walked along the Hogs Back (good views), past some stray cows, and along a wooded path along a stream to Dixcart Bay, where we stayed most of the afternoon. Back via The Avenue where we saw the Prison and the school where they hold the Court of Pleas.

  Dinner - Wednesday 20th July 1983 Apple and Cheese Salad Creme Washington (sweetcorn soup) Veal La Roma Fresh Fruit Salad (Maureen), Gateau (Jeff) bottle of Chablis (cold)

  Coffee and liqueurs with the McDonalds as usual - Donald tried a Calvados (possibly local illegal) and didn't like it.
  The next morning we had an early breakfast and went for a stroll down to the Adonis Pool - clear views of Herm, Jethou and Guernsey. We walked to the Pilcher Monument passing the puffin man again (it's a small island), then took several attempts to find Port à la Janent. It was a very steep difficult descent, so we went to Port du Moulin instead, and found a spot at the top of the cliffs for lunch. Then we tried to find the famous window in the rock, but ended up on the beach instead - rather rocky. We changed into our swimwear, but it was difficult even to paddle because of the pebbles moving under your feet. We stayed there most of the afternoon and then investigated the window in the rock on the way back. Walked back via the Avenue and Maureen had time to wash her hair and dry it in the sun.

  Dinner - Thursday 21st July 1983 Parma Ham with Melon Camembert and Champaigne Soup (better than it sounds) Lobster (Maureen), Quails (Jeff) Strawberries (Maureen), Fresh Fruit Salad (Jeff) (wine not recorded)

  Coffee and liqueurs as usual and then was a thunderstorm, so didn't get to sleep very quickly.
  We walked to the Seagull's House, taking a shady short-cut behind the Stocks Hotel.
  

  The Lighthouse

  On reaching the lighthouse we met two other couples from our hotel and plumped for the tour. The lamp room was very hot, and shades were drawn, both to protect the lens, and to stop the lens from setting fire to neighbouring vegetation. We walked on to Bel Air and then back via the Dixcart Hotel (swift drink) and a cliff-top path to La Coupee and back to the hotel for lunch. Maureen had a fruit juice and I started with tuna salad, then we had grilled Sark Mackerel followed by Strawberries (M) and Fresh Fruit Salad (J) and coffee in the garden. In the afternoon we found another route down to Dixcart Bay and sunbathed and paddled, then returned via the Dixcart Hotel (sundowner) to the hotel and did most of our packing.

  Dinner - Friday 22nd July 1983 Frogs legs (again) Fish soup Beef Stroganoff Brandied Figs and Oranges Brie (wine not recorded)

  Coffee and liqueurs in the bar, and said our goodbyes to the McDonalds and Mr Peree.
  

  Last walk over La Coupee

  The final morning we managed an early cup of tea and there was only just enough hot water for a bath. We had a full breakfast with a German lady who was also catching our boat. Mrs Williams arrived with the pony and trap (that we should have also had on our arrival) and our luggage followed on the tractor. It was a lovely morning and we were sorry to leave. We had to dismount properly at La Coupée and walk across, and were dropped off at the top of Harbour Hill. We caught the boat back to guernsey, arriving at 9.30, where a taxi was waiting to take us to the airport. The return trip was fairly uneventful, then we popped into Sainsbury's for some food and it was back to normal.

• Holiday #3 1983 - Norwich

  This was just a weekend break, and Tufty came to see off as before. We drove there through light traffic and arrived too early to check in to the Maid's Head Hotel so went for a wander. The Parson Woodruffe had gone down market and was now the Pink Elephant. We had a light lunch in Skippers - Paella and lemon cheesecake (Maureen), Smoked Venison and cheese (Jeff). Checked into our hotel and went out in the afternoon for a river trip from Elm Hill - nice weather, entertaining commentary and lots of coots, moorhens and the odd grebe. We ate in the hotel that night (OK but not brilliant) . . .

  Dinner - Friday 23rd September 1983 Cream of Asparagus Soup Dressed Crab (Maureen), Beef Chasseur (Jeff) Fruit Salad bottle of Soave

  We had a decent breakfast and walked to Abraxas, a modern jewelry shop. Maureen bought an onyx, pearl and gold knecklace that she still wears from time to time. Then we drove out into the countryside and visited the Norfolk Wildfowl Conservancy Trust at Dilham. It wasn't bad, but one bird kept pecking at Maureen so we didn't stay too long, and drove off towards the coast. We bought fish and chips in Happisburgh (say Hazebrough) and ate them down on Eccles beach - vert tasty. We drove up to Felrigg House (National Trust) - the house was OK but crowded, then we looked round the grounds. We sheltered from a shower in the dovecote, then couldn't find the woodland walk so returned to Norwich. We had booked Tatlers for dinner - good job, many people were turned away. It was just the same as we remembered it - the music that night was Paul Robeson then Flashdance!

  Dinner - Saturday 24th september 1983 Salmon and Fennel Mousse with salad and brown bread Pedgeon, Duck and Orange Pie with vegetables Chocolate, Orange and Brandy Mousse (Maureen), Lemon and Cointreau Syllabub (Jeff) bottle of Fleurie Coffee

  We got up fairly early next morning and checked out after breakfast, driving westwards to Grimes Graves. This is a fascinating site - a series of stone-age flint mines. There is a small exhibition, then you put on hard hats and go down a vertical ladder, one at a time, about 30 foot. At the bottom you can see seven low tunnels leading off in all directions where our ancestors dug out the flint by the flickering light of animal fat candles - you can see the blackened roofs. These flints were made into tools on-site and exported all over Britain. Then we drove to Thetford and parked down by the river, having lunch in the Thomas Paine - home made quiche, then Chicken Chasseur (M) and Gammon with apple and sultana sauce (J) (nice fresh vegetables), then fresh Pineaple (M) and Cherry Pie (J) and good coffee. Then it was home via Kilverstone Wildlife Park, which was hot and crowded and the animals didn't seem to have much room - it has since closed.

• Learning Italian

  I have previously told you that I had failed my GCE "O" Level French exam at school. When we went to Venice for the first time we bought a little BBC book called "Get by in Italian" - it was meant as a brief starter for tourists and business men, and in a touristy place like Venice, it was all that we needed. Back at home, a little later, we noticed that the local college would be running an evening course called "Italian for Pleasure" - we enrolled. It was an Wednesday evenings at Shephallbury and was run by an Italian lady named Liana (who had learnt her English as a nurse in Glasgow!). There were about a dozen pupils, mostly OK and some still friends. We enjoyed the lessons and there was no homework - we went for several years. We invested in two further BBC publications that came out in the following years - Buongiorno Italia (had a cassette and also TV programs), then L'Italia dal Vivo (cassette only, and much harder). Liana eventually married and moved away - she was replaced by Alessandra Nichol (an Italian lady married to an Englishman). Alessandra was very nice, but was a proper language teacher and actually gave us homework. We resented this at first, but it was the right thing to do and we went from strength to strength, finally passing our GSCE exams with A* grades in 1994. I was quite proud of some of the stories I wrote for homework and shall try to find them (they are not on the computer). Although the classes have long finished, we still keep in touch with Alessandra and Les (now deceased) and have seen Liana and her husband a couple of times (though they have retired to warmer climes).

• Holiday #1 1984 - Ravello

  An early cup of tea (with Tufty as before) then off to Luton Airport (our closest) for the 7.05 flight to Naples. It was a reasonable flight, followed by a wait to get through passport control as an Italian passenger had lost her passport. Hung around for our luggage, then it was a 90 minute coach drive, initially along the clogged up motorway. The drive through the Latteri hills was more pleasant, with orange and lemon trees, vines and olives. At Ravello we were set down in the main Piazza, where we had to wait half an hour for two taxis to take thirty people to different hotels and villas - ours turned out to be 5 minutes walk away. Our hotel was white, Moorish and elegant. Our room was down three flights of stairs and out onto a terrace overlooking the bay.

  Outside the Garden Room

  The "Garden Room" was quite small and totally white, with a nice little bathroom tiled in grey and red, and a well-stocked fridge. Outside, on our private terrace, was a white wrought-iron table and two chairs. After unpacking, we went for a small exploratory walk - back to the Piazza, then along a side street that became a footpath with steps, ending at the Villa Cimbrone. We retraced our steps and stopped for a cool drink in a bar that sold touristy pottery. More meandering brought us back to the piazza, where we had an ice-cream (the weather being sunny and warm). Wandered back to the hotel (full of Americans), sat on the terrace then got ready for dinner at 7.30. The dining room had dark furniture, large oil paintings, and an ornate painted ceiling. A frail old English lady sat near us, and was joined by the owner, an elderly Swiss gentleman.

  Dinner - Saturday 2nd June 1984 Fettucine with tomato sauce Fish Soufle with a mixed salad Mirafoglie (Maureen), Cheese (Jeff) bottle of white wine (the owner's own production) Cappuccinos in the lounge

  We had a chat to the English lady (Mrs Jordan), and went to bed. With the lights out and the shutters closed it was totally black - we wondered how we would know when to wake up.
  Opening the shutters revealed brilliant sunshine. Breakfast was served at little coffee tables in the lounge, where Mrs Jordan recommended the panoramic walk. We turned right out of the hotel and walked past several locals (who said "Buongiorno"), several lizards (who just scuttled away) and several cats (who ignored us). The path would have gone all the way to Scala, but we turned off onto the panoramic road, with views down to Minori and Maiori and the headland beyond.

  On Our Terrace

  We ended up in the piazza and had a drink sitting at the tables by the Duomo - watching several little girls dressed as brides for their first communion. There were lots of relatives for these celebrations, and most of the places to eat were fully booked. We ended up at the Hotel Graal, where we had gnocchi and costeletto di vitello milanese. The white wine turned up in an unlabelled bottle - the idea is that you drink what you want and are charged accordingly, but we didn't know that and finished the bottle (too much for lunchtime). So we spent the afternoon lazing on our terrace and snoozing, and met the Magic of Italy rep at 6 o'clock. We booked a trip to Capri tomorrow, and one to Paestum on Wednesday, talked for a while then changed for dinner.

  Dinner - Sunday 3rd June 1984 Ravioli stuffed with cheese Orato (big white fish - Maureen), Roast Veal (Jeff) Bieta all'agro (cold leafy beet in oil and lemon) Strawberries and cream Coffee in the lounge

  We had booked an early breakfast, so were down in the square in time for the local bus to Amalfi (£500). We met with our guide, Vincenzo, and of we went in the "Faraglione". We sat on the right under an awning and, although it was sunny, there was a chilly wind. The coastline was spectacular, and we stopped offshore at Positano to pick up more people who were ferried out in a small boat. We moved to the sunny side, but it got a bit choppy, and the diesel fumes started to make Maureen feel rather sick. She remembered the advice of Mr Gill, our dentist, "Close your mouth and breath through your nose, and you can never be sick" - it worked, but we were glad to arrive at Capri. We stretched our legs while waiting for the bus to take us up to Anacapri, and felt better for it. Anacapri was very touristy, but we bought some postcards to send home. We were then taken to see the house of the famous Axel Munthe (no, we have never heard of him either). Its terrace had wonderful views of the Bay of Naples with the mighty Vesuvius, and while walking round the gardens we saw Tony Hart (used to do very good children's TV programs with all sorts of animations etc). We then went to Capri town, where we joined a couple of Italian Australian girls for lunch - Macaroni with tomato sauce (J), Vegetable soup (M), Fish in tomato sauce with tinned peas, a half bottle of Lacrima Christi. Vincenzo walked us through the town to the gardens of Caesar Augustus, stopping to explain things as best he could. The gardens had a fine view of the Faraghone rocks, the Marina Piccola and Gracie Fields' restaurant. Walked back, via an ice-cream stop, and got the bus back to Marina Grande in plenty of time to be early on the boat so we could sit in the sun. The return trip was smoother and warmer, and we got back to Amalfi in plenty of time to get the local bus to Scala and on to Ravello.

  Dinner - Monday 4th June 1984 Frutta di Mare (mussels, cockles and razor-shells etc in a clear soup) Bistecca in a peppery sauce, potatoes and zucchina "Al Inglese" (ie on the same plate) Cherry Torte house Red wine Coffee in the lounge

  We had a liesurely breakfast and sat on the terrace for a while, before visiting the Duomo.

  In the Rufolo Gardens

  It has a very good pulpit decorated with mosaics - you have to ask the man to pull back the wooden panels hiding the bronzes on the doors. We then looked around the local market but didn't buy anything, wandered around for a bit, then went to the Rufolo Gardens. These are not very big, but are colourful and have great views. We meandered back to the hotel, had a drink in the bar and sat on the terrace for a while before going out again for lunch. It was such a nice day that we decided to eat outside - the Albergo Toro, in Viale Wagner, had a garden restaurant. We started with Crespelini (little pancakes stuffed with cheese and ham), then Fritto Misto di Mare (fried Crayfish and Calamari) with a mixed salad, white Caruso wine (not drinking it all) and acqua minerale, with cappuccinos afterwards (£37,000).
  After another sit on the terrace to let our lunch go down, we walked to the Villa Cimbrone - lovely gardens (both formal and wild) with a different view of the Bay of Salerno and Amalfi. We had another ice-cream on our way back to the hotel, washed our hair and sat on the terrace again to dry it (mine takes 30 seconds, Maureen's at least 30 minutes).

  Dinner - Tuesday 5th June 1984 Fusilli with cheese sauce (Maureen), Tomato Soup (Jeff) Veal burger with cheese on top, potatoes and carrots Cream Caramel (not as good as Maureen makes) bottle of Vino Rosatto (Rosé to you) Coffee with Mrs Jordan in the lounge

  It had rained overnight and there were big clouds to the south, so we took our umbrellas and anoraks on our trip to Paestum. We boarded the coach in the piazza (Vincenzo again) and picked up more tourists in Maiori. Our first stop was Salerno - we walked up to the old city and popped into the Duomo, but it was undergoing massive restoration so we wandered around for a while. The coach was late returning as it got delayed behind a Communist Union strike march. We drove down the coast road, the land flattened out and there were lots of market gardens and water buffalo (for the Mozzarella).

  At Paestum

  On arriving, we went into the museum and had a guided tour - Vincenzo's Italian and French were easier to understand than his English. We then went to see the temples - very impressive but overgrown and in need of some tender loving care. We followed the Sacred Way to the site of the Roman Forum and swimming pool, then the Temple of Neptune (actually Hera) - the best and most complete of the temples. Better to see them without a guide and lots of tourists (see later years). We ate our packed lunch at some tables then found a bar for a swift drink. We had a small amount of time to explore the rest of the site on our own, then it was back on the coach and straight back. It was raining on our return so we went into one of the bars for a cappuccino - it had been raining here all day.

  Dinner - Wednesday 6th June 1984 Spaghetti with seafood (Maureen), Pea Soup with Pasta (Jeff) Dentrice (Maureen), Agnello (Jeff) Fruit (Maureen), Cheese (Jeff) Cappuccino

  Got up late the next day and, after checking on the bus times to Amalfi, we set off along the Panoramic Path again, getting about half way to Scala but the path was rough and overgrown and we wern't wearing sensible shoes so we eventually turned back. We got back to the hotel just after midday, changed, and went out for a proper lunch, up the road at the Caruso. No menu, but we could understand the waiter's Italian suggestions. Crespolini for starter, then Dentrice (Snapper) in a lemon sauce (better than last night's says Maureen), bottle of the house white wine, lemon and chocolate souffles. Had a chat with an Englishman who was staying there, then went back to our hotel and took our chairs out into the sunny part of the terrace for most of the afternoon. Then we went for a stroll, had a lemonade in a bar, and found that the Rufolo Gardens were open (and free on Thursdays) - rather shady and a bit chilly.

  Dinner - Thursday 7th June 1984 Melanzane (Aubergine) al forno with Mozzarella Sole with white wine sauce (Maureen), Pollo alla Siciliana (Jeff) Profiteroles with rum and chocolate sauce (Maureen), Cheese (Jeff) Coffee in the lounge with Mrs Jordan until chucking-out time

  We caught the 9.30 local bus down to Amalfi, where Maureen changed some travellers chques at the Banca di Napoli and did some necessary shopping. We popped into the Duomo, then wandered through the very touristy shops and bought a couple of souvenir guidebooks. We decided that Amalfi was a dump and caught the bus back to Ravello, where we had a short walk before lunch. We intended to have a pizza, but the Trattoria Cosino only fired up its oven in the evening - we had tagliatelle with ham, cheese and mushrooms (very tasty) and the unlabelled bottle of vino bianco as before. I finished off with cheese and Maureen had strawberries with lemon.
  After a short stop at our hotel to freshen up we were off again, only pausing in the piazza for a gelato. We had a quick look at Le Terrazze apartments (also in the Magic brochure) then set off in the Via St Pietro down to Minori. It was mostly short steps with slopes in between, passing through a sleepy little village with a church and not much else. In Minori we walked down to the sea front and only had a very short wander before getting the next bus - changing buses at the hairpin bend at the Ravello turning. Had a cappuccino in one of the bars, then went back to the hotel for a little sit and some packing, before going in for our final dinner (a good one).

  Dinner - Friday 8th June 1984 Fettucine with mushrooms, ham, peas and cream Salsice with chips and mixed salad of green beans, artichoke heart, beetroot, leafy beet, asparagus and spring onion in a mint dressing Fresh fruit salad with ice-cream bottle of the house red Cappuccinos in the lounge prepared by the night-porter

  Final day - had an early breakfast, saw Mrs Jordan who gave us her address and phone number, paid our bar bill (£129,000!!). Taxi to the square, coach to Naples airport (long wait), then an excellent flight home with no turbulence.

• Holiday #2 1984 - Peak District

  Our second holiday that year was a long weekend in the Peak District in Derbyshire. On the Saturday morning, Maureen had her hair cut, then we drove north up the more interesting A6 rather than the fast M1. Wrong decision - between Bedford and Northampton our windscreen shattered. I made a hole in the crazy glass and drove slowly to a petrol station where we phoned for help. We ate our sandwiches while waiting for the man to turn up and fit a replacement (£105). The A6 goes through far too many towns, and it wasn't until 5 o'clock that we reached the Hathersage Inn. The proprietor was a bit odd, but the food was good.

  Dinner - Saturday 29th September 1984 Paté (Maureen), Fish Paté (Jeff) Halibut (Maureen), Chestnut Loaf (Jeff) not recorded (Maureen), Squirrel's Delight (Jeff)

  Now Maureen's holiday recording system seems to have broken down at this point. However, over the next couple of days we visited Chatsworth (big country house with grounds and water features), Blists Hill (recreation of an early industrial town - very good), Ironbridge Gorge (more industrial archaeology), and stayed the night in Shrewsbury.

• Holiday #1 1985 - Stresa

  We flew from Gatwick to Milan (Malpensa) on an afternoon flight, then were driven by coach to our various hotels (we were at the Regina Palace). It was raining, and would continue to be wet for some days. Unpacked and went down to dinner.

  Dinner - Friday 10th May 1985 Ravioli Salmon (Maureen), Lamb with rosemary (Jeff) Cheese Strawberries (Maureen), Torta (Jeff) Half bottle of local white wine, water

  The following morning, we went out for a lakeside stroll then met up with the holiday rep and booked a half-day trip to Lake Orta for Wednesday afternoon. Now, we had chosen this resort because it had been featured in a BBC learning Italian program called "Buongiorno Italia". On our next little walk we found the little travel agency featured in the programme - the proprietor (Liliana Borroni) was sweeping up outside, but we were afraid to talk to her. We walked on past the imbarcadero (boat stop) as far as the zoological gardens then back through the town (narrowly avoiding some annoying fellow guests) - we saw the fresh pasta shop featured in the programs but didn't buy any. There were lots of expensive-looking villas (mostly holiday homes from the Swiss or Germans). We had a simple lunch at a small family restaurant and even managed to order the food in Italian. We walked back to the zoological gardens and, as we passed the imbarcadero, there were a group of Italians dancing, in traditional dress, to a brass band - they then trouped onto a paddle steamer and left for an "International Festival of Mamma". The zoo was a bit basic, though the llamas and multicoloured goats were nice. We walked back past our hotel and on to the Lido (stopping somewhere for gelati) then back for dinner.

  Dinner - Saturday 11th May 1985 Macaroni with tomato and basil Fillet of perch Cheese Two different tortas The rest of last night's white wine and water (waiting for us on the table)

  Walked into town and had coffee standing up in a bar.
  The following morning we went to the imbarcadero and bought two three-day tourist tickets, then caught the 09.30 to Isola Bella. Apart from some tourist shops, the island consists of just the Villa Borromeo and its gardens (both of which we went round). Heavy rain then drove us into the Ristorante Delfino.

  Lunch - Sunday 12th May 1985 Lasagne al forne (Maureen), vegetable soup (Jeff) Pollo arrosto (Maureen), grilled pork chop (Jeff) Fresh fruit salad Mezzo litro vino rosso, acqua minerale, cappuccinos

  We caught the 2.30 boat to Pallanza (still raining hard), walked about a bit and caught the next boat back to Stresa (hot bath).

  Dinner - Sunday 12th May 1985 Prosciutto di Parma; Cold salmon and egg with mayonnaise (left over from a wedding reception we think) Beef Wellington with green beans and croquette potatoes Cheese; fruit (wine not recorded)

  
  Still raining heavilly the next day, and the rep took us into Pallanza by car where we had a little wander and a cappucino. We caught the boat back to Stressa, bought an umbrella (together with some postcards and stamps), and got the next boat to Isola Superiore dei Pescatori for lunch. We had to change tables when the rain started dripping from the glass roof.

  Lunch - Monday 13th May 1985 Ravioli (J), tagliatelle (M) Whitebait (or similar small fishes), mixed salad, mezzo litro vino bianco Cappucinos

  
  We got the boat back to Stresa after having to converse with a party of Italian schoolchildren. The rain had stopped by about 4 o'clock so we strolled into town and bought some wine to take back home.

  Dinner - Monday 13th May 1985 Smoked lake trout (whole fish!) Supreme of chicken, aubergine, chips;started another bottle of vino bianco Torta (alcoholic) (M), pineapple (J)

  
  Overcast the next day; we caught the 9 o'clock boat to the Villa Taranto. It was sunny by then but the seats in the open were still too wet to sit on. After stopping at the islands, Baveno and Pallanza, we got there at a quarter to ten. The gardens were very beautiful, with formal beds, fountains, pools, a mausoleum and so on. We walked about all morning then caught the 12.20 boat to Isola Madre in time for lunch.

  Lunch - Tuesday 14th May 1985 Spaghetti Fried plaice, green salad Apple and blood orange The normal mezzo litro vino bianco and water

  
  After lunch, we walked round the botanical gardens (more school parties, noisier than the white peacocks). We had a quick look around the palace then caught the boat to Isola Pescatore where we had a look around and made friends with the local cats.
  Back to Stressa for gelati before returning to the hotel.

  Dinner - Tuesday 14th May 1985 Seafood cocktail (M), pilaf (J) Pork chop pizziola (M), turket fiorentino (J) Cheese and torat, vino bianco etc Cappucinos

  
  Clear blue skies with no mist the next day. We walked to the Lido and caught the funivia up to Motarone, stopping at the intermediate stop (Stressa Alpino) for a short wander. Lots of nice wild flowers and views of Lake Orta and snow-vapped mountains from the top.
  We returned to the bottom, had lunch in a pizzeria (more vino biano) and returned to the hotel to dump our anoraks etc.
  The coach picked us up for our afternoon trip and picked up more people from other (mostly inferior) hotels. It then went to the top of the lake and on to Orta. We were led down to the old, picturesque village. It was now hot and sunny, and we went across to the little island of St Giuliano (church with a body in a glass case), walked around a bit then went back to the village and had coppa ice-creams in the square.
  The coach took a different route back, stopping at Arona to look at the large statue of St Carlo Borromeo. Then back to Stresa for a preprandial drink at a bar.

  Dinner - Wednesday 15th May 1985 Noodles with a meat sauce (M), ox-tongue with green sauce (J) Chicken of some sort; bottle of prosecco, water Cheese; alcoholic ice-cream bomb (M), creme caramel (J)

  
  Dull weather the next day. We walk around and watched the boats for a while, then got our anoraks and got the boat to Baveno.
  Had a look round the town and the church, then it started to rain so we headed for lunch.

  Remains of lunch - Baveno

  Lunch - Thursday 16th May 1985 Tagliatelle with ham and cheese Grilled salmon steak with chips (M), veal with a picquant sauce (J) Fruit; wine and water as per

  
  The weather had cleared up during lunch so we sat in the sun for a while and caught the boat back to Stresa, dumped our anoraks and sat on the front with more gelati. Saw the rep to finalise leaving instructions then went for a walk. Found the railway station, made friends with another cat and walked back past expensive-looking villas.
  

  Dinner - Thursday 16th May 1985 Spaghetti alle vongole Beef braised in barolo Cheese; two different tortas; half bottle of valpolicello, water

  
  Went out for coffee at a bar.
  The final day had another clear blue sky. Had breakfast, packed our bags and settled our bill, then walked into town and looked round the market.
  We then walked to the lido and took the funivia up to Mottarone again where we found a little chapel dedicated to the "Virgin of the snow", then walked to the peak - ugly, with ski-lifts etc - then on to our final lunch.
  

  Lunch - Friday 17th May 1985 Penne with a meat sauce Braised hare with polenta (very tasty) Cheese (J), strawberries with lemon (M); the usual wine and water

  
  Back down the cable-car, walked back along the front and had a last ice-cream.
  The coach picked us up at half past three and dumped us at Malpensa three hours before takeoff!

• Holiday #2 1985 - short break in Oxford etc.

  Just after we had our new kitchen installed, we went to Oxford for a shortish break. I drove Maureen's mum and dad to the station for their holiday on the Isle of Wight then, after a sandwich for lunch, we drove to Oxford and booked into the Royal Oxford Hotel. We had a short stroll to get our bearings then, after changing, went out to dinner.
  

  Dinner - Saturday 14th September 1985 - La Cantina Timballo (sort of lasagne with a fishy sauce) Involtini alla Siciliana (M), nodino di vitello (J) Fresh fruit salad (M), stuffed pancakes (J, could not finish) (wine not recorded)

  
  After a full English breakfast we went out to explore the town, finding the Radcliffe Camera and wandering round Brasenose College. We bought a picnic lunch at Parmentier's and went to the Botanic Gardens. On the way back Maureen tripped up on a missing cobblestone and the lunch went flying (recovered). Maureen would have a history of falls in later life. After returning to the hotel to clean Maureen's grazes and for her to change into jeans we drove to Cogges Farm Museum and ate our lunch in the car. The museum was quite interesting, with demonstrations of butter-making etc. We then went for a walk along the Windrush, had a cup of tea and then met the beekeeper. We returned to Oxford via Minster Lovell, then bought tickets for a concert of Carmina Burana and other choral works - very good indeed. It finished at 10.30, then we went for a late dinner at the Opium Den Chinese restaurant, not getting back to the hotel until close to midnight (had to ring the night bell). After a rather late breakfast we walked into town and Maureen bought some Savlon and plasters for her scraped knee, then we looked around the covered market - very exotic. We drove to Woodstock, parking at Blenheim Palace, and had a bistro-style lunch.
  

  Lunch - Monday 16th September 1985 - Brotherton's Blinis (took for ever to come) Pollock (J), some other fish (M) No afters or coffee (we would have been there all day!)

  
  We then went back to Blenheim, sometimes walking round the palace by ourselves, sometimes with a guide - all right if you like that sort of thing.
  We had a quick dinner of pasta, salad and wine then went to the Oxford Playhouse to see "Spivs" (we enjoyed it at the time, but I can't remember it at all).
  On Tuesday morning we checked out of the hotel, went round the Ashmolean Museum (very interesting), then had a light lunch (soup, quiche) at Bever's.
  We then drove to Bath, stopping off at the Cotswold Wildlife Park at Burford on the way (not much cop). We booked into Pratt's Hotel in Bath, had a cup of tea and went for a walk, returning to the Hotel for dinner.

  Dinner - Tuesday 17th September 1985 - Pratt's Stuffed tomatoes (lukewarm) Chicken supreme stuffed with ham, overcooked veg Cheese rather than anything from the dull sweet-trolley

  
  We drove to Bristol to visit my mum for the morning. Afterwards we drove to Backwell / Farleigh and had a ploughman's lunch at the George. In the afternoon we drove to Weston-supr-mare and then back to Bristol to look round the S.S. Great Britain and the newly-opened maritime museum, then returned to Bath and, having been turned away from two restaurants, had a tasy dinner in an Italian cellar restaurant (details not recorded).
  The next day was rainy, so we went home via the Westonbirt Arboretum.

• Holiday #1 1986 - A Taste of Tuscany and Umbria

  An early alarm clock got us to the station for the 06.46 train to Kings Cross, getting to Gaatwick airport at about 8.30. We flew uneventfully by British Airtours, arriving at Galileo Galilei airport at about 1.30. We had to wait for fellow travellers on a delayed flight from Manchester, so didn't board the coach till 3.15, travelling via Florence to Colle Val d'Elsa. We checked into our hotel (La Vecchia Cartiera); having been warned by the courier that many rail and bus workers were on strike, we discovered that the hotel's restaurant staff were also striking. We set out at 7.50, through drizzle, for dinner at La Velettia. They seemed reluctant to take us, and only offered us a limited menu. All our table of six plumped for tortellini and then either veal with mushrooms or an arroso misto. It was there that we met Thelma (an elderly teacher who travelled to Italy frequently - we would remain friends for years), who recommended the Vernaccia di San Gimignano to drink (which we shared with her). Maureen and Thelma got their pasta after only a three quarters of an hour wait; eventually I stormed into the kitchen to complain, only to find just one little lady draining a huge pan of steaming pasta - eventually (just two of is at a time) served at 9.30. The veal was OK, and my mixture of rabbit, chicken and pork had been grilled over charcoal and was delicious. After all that we had a coffee with Thelma at a local bar and eventually got to bed. After an early breakfast we set off for Florence, arriving at 9.30. We were shown where to pick up the return coach and were left to our own devices. We went across the Piazza della Signoria, over the Ponte Vecchio to the Pitti Palace - very interesting, we especially liked the inlaid marble work, and Fra Filippo Lippi's Madonna and Child. We sat on the steps at the back for a while and then set off for the Academia to see Michaelangelo's David, afterwards having a pizza, salad and a half bottle of vino bianco for lunch (near the duomo). We had a liitle stroll, an ice-cream, and then a drink at a table in the Piazza del Signore (very expensive lemon juices, but thirst-quenching). Back to Santa Croce to gather for the coach, waited for two late-comets and started back, stopping for a ten-minute view at a very crowded Piazza del Michaelangelo. Back at the hotel we were told we would be eating at the same place as last night. There was much grumbling, but we were shown into a back room and our hotel manager was there to get things organised. The pasta lady explained in Italian that she only had one pair of arms. The food came much quicker and was all very good. At the end of the meal the electricity failed so we went out for a coffee and sambucca with Thelma again. We went for a late-night stroll, finding a very modern and striking branch of the Monte di Paschi Di Siena (world's oldest bank).
  The next morning we went out for an early-morning stroll, up the steep hill to Colle Alto - goldfish in the piazza's fountain, and lots of cats - and returned via the old walls for breakfast (served hesitantly by the manager). We set out at 9.30 for Siena, passing through pleasant country. The courier showed us where to meet the coach back and led us up the main drag to the Campo (where the Palio is held). We went for a stroll, noticing the signs of the various contradas on the buildings, ending up at the cathedral - very ornate inside, with nice wooden panels on the seats behind the altar, and a memorable altar by Pisano. We went to a bar and, for lunch, had panini (with tuna), a small slice of panforte and lemon-sodas. In the afternoon we visited the town-hall museum (famous frescos) and had another wander, finding that the pinacoteca was closed, and evenutally made our way to the coach point outside San Domenico (modern, deep-blue stained glass). We had a rest at the hotel before venturing out for a preprandial drink and then on to the same restaurant for dinner (tortellini, pork stew, fresh fruit) and the same bar for coffee etc.
  After breakfast the next day the coach took us to San Gimignano, dropping us off at St John's Gate. Celia, our guide, took us all up through Piazza della Cisterna to the cathedral square; the cathedral has lots of good frescoes. We then walked up to La Rocca (ruins of a castle, great views), had a sit, then down via little back streets and visited the Museo Civico. We stopped and had a drink in the square, then did a little shopping (local wine, panforte, guidebook). We then had a two hour coach ride to our second hotel - The Grand Hotel Excelsior at Chianciano Terme. Dinner was pasta, crostini, roast veal with chips and green beans, torta, fresh fruit.
  The next day was the day of the wedding of Prince Andrew but, even though we had a free morning, we didn't bother watching TV but went for a walk with Thelma and Celia, and looked round the market and then a small Etruscan exhibition. We bought freshly made panini in a little shop for lunch. After freshening up at the hotel we left for Montepulciano, having to walk up a steep hill to the little town (ice-creams on the way down). We drove back to the hotel with a short stop at Pienza. Dinner, with Thelma as usual, was pasta, rice salad with ham, fish in mayonaise, chicken breast with cheese, torta, fresh fruit.
  Our next day's visit was to Perugia in Umbria. Our route took us past Lake Trasimeno and we nearly knocked down a man painting white lines in the road. You get to the old town up an escalator through La Rocca; we did the sights, had a drink, then Celia showed us the Etruscan well (I went down, but the steps were too slippery for Maureen). We had another walk about and went back to the coach which made it way to Assisi, stopping at the church of Santa Maria del'Angeli (where Saint Francis founded his community) but were chucked out after 5 minutes. Celia again escorted us up the main drag in Assisi and then on the a self-service restaurant for lunch. Then we visited the Basilica of St Francis (frescoes by Giotto) and returned to the lower town and visited the church with frescoes by Cimabue. We wandered back, stopping for a refreshing drink in a little garden with splendid views. We then popped into the basilica again, this time looking at the lower church and the crypt. The coach stopped at the same place on the way back, and we went to the rose garden (statue of St Francis, real doves). Dinner that evening was crespi (three different fillings), spinach and egg pie, veal chop with zucchini and chips, torta, fresh fruit (coffee at a bar with Thelma).
  If it's Friday, it must be Orvieto. On the motorway Celia lectured us about the Etruscans. The coach had to park at the bottom of this great outcrop of tuffa on which the town is built and we were walked up by Celia. We were impressed by the Duomo, notwithstanding scaffolding and protective cladding against vandals. We found Michaelangeli's wood shop (featured on Buongiorno Italia) and bought a couple of little animals (still got them - a gatto nero and a grillo). We then had a good walk round the town, noticing other places featured in the series, had panini for lunch. On the way back to the hotel the coach stopped for us to look at an Etruscan necropolis. Dinner was spaghetti with a tomato sauce, rice salad, veal, torta, cheese (coffee and amaretto in a bar with Thelma as usual).
  On our last day we drove up through the Pisan hills and stopped for half an hour to see the Leaning Tower, the Duomo and the Baptistry. Then on to the airport and home.

• Holiday #2 1986 - Lancaster University Summer Programme

  This was to be the first of many times that we joined the Lancaster University's Summer Programme - a way of providing income when the students were not being taught. They offered a range of full day or half day academic or activity-based courses, and put you up in the unused student accomodation. This first time, we both enrolled on the full-day course "Nature in the Northwest", adding an extra day of sightseeing on the way up. On Saturday morning (August 9th) we drove up the A1(M) and then the A5, through Leicester and Derby, arriving in Dovedale about 1.30, booking into the Izaak Walton Hotel at Ashbourne. We went for a little walk through the village of Illam and a small National Trust park, back through Thorpe Cloud and along the banks of the Dove to the hotel where we changed for dinner (not recorded). On Sunday morning we set out, after breakfast, for the National Garden Festival at Stoke-on-Trent. We wern't very impressed, and left at 2 p.m., heading up the M6 towards Lancaster. We were allocated a double room in the Cark building of Cartmel College, then went to a meeting where the workings of the summer programme were explained to us. At dinner, you sit at a big table for about eight people and a waitress dumps the food in the middle and you help yourself - not bad, considering. We met one of our tutors (Dr Trevor Pierce) and the other five people on our course.

  Humphrey Head

  Breakfast the next day was rather chaotic, a party from Taiwan and the dishing-out of packed lunches adding to the confusion. We had a lecture on the influence of habitat (especially limestone) on plants (by Dr Geoffrey Halliday) then set off in a battered minibus bound for Humphrey Head joined, today, by entomologist Peter Flint. We walked along the shore of the estuary, being shown the characteristic plant life. At the end of the headland was an "easy scramble" up to the top - more like climbing a cliff, but there were a number of hand-holds, and everyone managed it. We then walked back along the top, getting back to the minivan for our packed lunch at 1.30. After lunch we set off for for the hamlet of Hutton Roof, where we scrambled up, through bracken to a series of limestone pavements (each accompanied by a lecture). It started to rain as we headed back just in time for dinner (better tonight); afterwards we went to a concert given by the Medici String Quartet (I forgot to tell you that there is a very mixed programme of activities organised each evening).

  Mussel bed

  
  The weather was better on the Tuesday morning where we were driven to the coast at Heysham where we were issued with long Wellington boot things that went all the way up your leg. A local character, supposedly named Davy Jones, walked us out to the mussel beds and showed us all manner of sea life. In the afternoon we were taken to Sunderland Point in the Lune estuary where a Dr Malloch showed us all manner of birds wading in the mud (including dunlin, turnstones, redshanks and a whimbrel). We got a flat tyre on the way back and were dumped in the Maritime museum in the Old Custom House in Lancaster while it was changed. This evening's activity was a tour of the historic buildings of Lancaster (I can only remember the prison).
  Wednesday morning was rainy. We had a short lecture, then were driven through Kendal to Longsleddale in the south-east of the Lake District. We walked up a reasonable track and ate lunch in the pouring rain. It slowly improved as we continued up to a slate quarry but continued very misty. We returned to Lancaster University, dried off a little, had a lecture on glaciation in the Lake District, and were shown around the Biology department after dinner.
  Thursday was lovely and sunny. We had a short lecture about sand dunes then set off, driving through Dalton-in-Furness to a National Trust property near the shore. Saw lots of interesting plants and butterflies, as well as frogs, toads and several natterjack toads. We walked back along the shore; drive back to Lancaster; another concert after dinner.
  Friday was cloudy and windy but dry. We were driven to Fleetwood to explore the salt marshes - very interesting, but hazardous; several people losing their wellies or getting muddy bottoms. Afterwards we were driven to an offshoot of the Lancaster canal for a short walk, then it was back to the biology department to be shown the herbarium and have a lecture on pressing wild flowers. This being the last night, there was a sherry reception and a special dinner (drank too much wine).

• Holiday #1 1987 - Devon

  Friday 3rd July - We dropped Munchkin off at the Happi Kat Motel and drove to Bristol to visit my mum. After lunch we continued down to Devon, eventually finding the Higher Bowden Cottages about 5.15. We had to get help from the local farmhouse to open the doors, but then everything was OK - we even had a little courtyard we could sit outside in. Unpacked, freshened up and went out to the local Sportsman's Arms for a meal (sardines in garlic butter (M) whitebait (J), rabbit pie (M) Greek-style lamb (J)).

  Saturday - We woke up early and, after a cup of tea, went for a stroll to get our bearings. We then drove into Dartmouth and had a good look around (St Petrox church very nice) and did some food shopping, took the food back to the cottage and went out for an exploratory drive - Stoke Fleming to Torcross and on to Start Point and Great Mattiscombe Sands, where we had a nice circular walk. Drove back to Torcross for lunch at the Church House Inn (skate and chips (M) crab salad (J), Devon cider cake with clotted cream). After lunch we drove to Slapton Sands for a snooze and a walk, but the local grasses didn't do Maureen's hay fever any good. In the evening we set out for dinner - couldn't get into Dartmouth because of a carnival, the Laughing Monk at Strete was full, we ended up at the Stoke Manor Hotel in Stoke Fleming (melon balls, chicken in a lemon and almond sauce, raspberry meringue (M) souffle (J), bottle of Soave).

  Sunday - Maureen was feeling sick (hay fever etc) so I had breakfast and walked into Stoke Fleming for a newspaper - Maureen was sitting in the courtyard on my return. Had a restful morning and a salad for lunch. In the afternoon we drove to Sharpitor? near Salcombe and had a look at some National Trust gardens (overgrown, but glorious estuary views) and walked to Sharp Tor? and back. Into Dartmouth for dinner that night - ended up at the Tall Ships on the quayside (spicy crab au gratin (M) avocado with cheese (J), shark steak (J) lemon sole (M), raspberry ice-cream (M) chocolate fudge cake (J), bottle of muscadet).

  Monday - After breakfast we walked down to Blackpool Sands and had a paddle, sunbathe and read, having an ice-cream on our way back for lunch. In the afternoon we drove into Dartmouth and had a river trip on the "Heart's Content" up and down the river Dart. In the evening we returned to Dartmouth for dinner at the "Cherub" (crab cocktail (large, M) smoked prawns in garlic (J), fresh Dart salmon with hollandaise sauce, chocolate orange cheesecake (M) chocolate fudge cake (J)).

  Tuesday - Spent the morning on the beach as yesterday, then had lunch at the Sportsman's Arms (various ploughman's) before driving to Castle Drogo where we looked round the house and spent quite some time walking round the grounds. Back to Dartmouth for dinner at Bistro 33 (ricotta gnocchi with a sort of pesto, fish ragout in a provencal sauce, pistacchio & almond loaf (M) gooseberry & elderflower fool (J), house white).

  Maureen on the Devon coast

  Wenesday - Drove into Dartmouth, parking at a NT carpark, then walked along a footpath towards the sea and eventually back along a higher path (lots of interesting birds and flowers). Lunch at the King's Arms in Strete (crab salad, rhubarb crumble) then in the afternoon we had a guided walk around Slapton (interesting talks about the different habitats as you move inland from the shingle). Dinner at the Hungry Horse at Habertonford (seafood chowder (M) cheese & crab souffle (J), fillets of John Dory in a ginger & lime sauce, cherry pie (M) chocolate & almond roulade (J), bottle of Italian Chardonay).

  Thursday - Drove to Torcross and walked the South Devon Coastal Path to Beesands for a sunbathe then back to Torcross for lunch at the Sea Breeze restaurant (ploughman's). After lunch we went into Dartmouth and walked up Dyers Hill and back early to the cottage. Dinner this evening was the Carved Angel (Joyce Molyneux's restaurant in Dartmouth) - rather upmarket than we were used to but very good, and probably the most expensive and probably best meal we had ever bought (smoked haddock quenelles ("free" extra), tarragon noodles with a lobster & tomato sauce (M) fishy hors d'oevres (smoked salmon, stuffed squid, John Dory, terrine, ceviche) (J), Dart salmon with samphire, melon and champaigne sorbet (M) goat's cheese brioche, salad with a borage flower (J), summer pudding (better than I make), coffee with sweatmeats (£64)

  Friday - After breakfast we packed, cleaned the cottage, paid for our electricity & milk then set off back to Bristol (salmon salad and cakes at mum's) then back to Welwyn to pick up Munchkin and home.

• Holiday #2 1987 - Lancaster University Summer Programme

  This was our second holiday as part of the university's summer programme. In the mornings, Maureen was doing Caligraphy and I was doing Music for Pleasure; in the afternoons we were both doing Local Rambles.

  Saturday 1st August - We took Munchkin to the Happi Kat Hotel this evening so we could pack and then get an earlyish start tomorrow.

  Sunday - Left about 9 o'clock, driving up the A1 to Wetherby and then across the Penines, stopping at the Wharfedale Gate in Ilkley for lunch (lasagne verdi (with chips!)). We arrived at Lancaster about 3 o'clock and got booked in (separate single rooms on opposite sides of a corridor in Lonsdale College). Had a walk down to the duckpond, then back for the opening talk and dinner (fruit cocktail, chicken, lemon meringue tart, cheese). We then split up to go to the introductory sessions of our courses. After the intros we had a quick drink at a reception do then headed off to our rooms.

  Monday - Maureen found the caligraphy very absorbing and seemed to get on with it OK. I have no notes about my course, but seem to remember the tutor (Frank Salter from Preston University - more about him later) making Latin puns. After lunch we were driven north (in a minivan) through Lancaster and Carnforth to Arnside Knot on Morecombe Bay where we climbed up to the top and enjoyed fine views of the bay and the Lake District. There was a short, sharp shower on the way down but we only needed to put on our waterproof jackets. We then walked along the muddy estuary to Arnside itself then got the minivan back just in time for a quick change before dinner (egg mayonaise, smoked gammon, chocolate ice-cream and meringue, cheese, bottle of muscadet - the half bottle of soave that we left on the table last night had vanished). After dinner we went to a reasonable lecture "In defense of modern art" but didn't fancy folk singing in the bar so called it a day.

  Tuesday - Maureen cleaned yesterday's muddy shoes and we had a cooked breakfast. Maureen did capital letters! Lunch was a cold buffet then we changed into our rambling gear. We were driven south to the pretty village of Scorton then walked up hill to Nicky Nook (bit boggy at first). Had our drinks break at the summit, with views of Morecome Bay, Lake District, the Isle of Man and Blackpool Tower. Walked back down via a river and reservoir and got back to the campus quite dry. Dinner was paté, trout, orange & chocolate gateaux, cheese. Didn't go to the lecture ("Will Maggie go on for ever?") but did go to the barn dance - didn't get on too bad, but very strenuous.

  Wednesday - Went for a walk round the duckpond and got our shoes and socks wet so had to change before breakfast. Maureen did italic and was shown diferent types of parchment (including a whole goatskin) and how to sharpen the nib of a quill. After another cold buffet lunch we were driven to the Trough of Bowland where we plodded up to Tarnbrook (boring companions) and had a drinks break by some waterfalls. Some of us continued further up and some (including Maureen) just sat in the sun. Dinner that evening was melon, turkey, sherry trifle, cheese. Lecture by Ian Whyte on "Man and landscape in the Lake District" then Preston Opera performed "Ballads, Songs and Snatches", Frank Salter compering and playing piano.

  Me at the top

  Thursday - Had another walk before breakfast, including the Scott Gallery. Maureen did Gothic this morning, and ground her own ink (from inksticks bought in Liverpool's chinatown). After another cold lunch we set off for Clougha (the local "mountain"), walking up from Birbank car park over high stiles and boggy bits, in one of which Maureen got stuck and had to be pulled out. The climb sorted out the sheep from the goats and we were somewhere in the middle. Same sort of views as yesterday from the top, then set off down again, over some large rocks, heather and bracken - weather nice and sunny. Dinner was prawn cocktail, roast beef, fresh fruit, cheese. Lecture was "Voices in the crags" (about Cumberland writers - a bit strange).

  Friday - Maureen's group did some lettering for the end-of-course exhibition. As it was wet and miserable weather (and we didn't have proper boots) we gave the ramble a miss and went to look at the university's library. Changed for the sherry reception (and exhibitions) then the last dinner (more formal). We were sat with Music for Pleasure people - smoked trout, escalope of pork, pineapple pavlova, cheese. Some speeches, but no lecture - we didn''t bother spending time at the bar, but were disturbed by people who did coming back late at night.

  Saturday - Had an early breakfast and set off back home through the Trough of Bowland, stopping for a pub lunch at Long Bennington. Home about 3 p.m., Sainsbury's shopping, picked up Munchkin.

• Holiday #3 1987 - Venice

  Sunday 18th October - Munchkin put up a fight, but eventually we captured her and took her to Mrs Goater's (Happi Kat Hotel) in Welwyn. Breakfast, taxi to the station - trains running late (because of Thursday's hurricane?) but got to Victoria OK and then the 12.10 to Gatwick. Visited the duty-free and bought some Glenfiddich and Dunhills that Thelma had asked for. The flight took off ten minutes late because of some late-comers - good flight, with fine views of the Alps. Landed at Treviso airport and, after sniffer dogs etc., met the Magic of Italy rep (Australian lady).

  Our street

  A coach took us all to Piazzale Roma - we hadn't noticed the crossing into Venice because it was in darkness because of a power cut to the street lights. The rep accompanied us on a water taxi to the Salute and then, through the dark, to our apartment in Rio Terrà dei Saloni. It was furnished in a modern style, mostly in white and green, but had an eccentric sort of geyser to provide hot water. After unpacking and having a cup of tea we ventured out with a pocket torch and went down to the Zattere and found a pizzeria (pizza ai funghi (M) pizza al diavolo (J), mezzo bianco, acqua minerale). Made our way back to the apartment and found it OK because we had left a light on.

  Monday - We woke up fairly early and, after a cup of tea and a biscuit, we popped round to a local grocers (since closed down) and bought panini, butter, cheese, milk, acqua minerale and some washing-up liquid (all in Italian - the washing-up liquid needed gestures etc). We then went for a short walk and bought a local paper (Il Gazzettino) then back to the flat for a late breakfast. After that we set off, with our duty-free to find Thelma who was staying at the Pensione Academia (just past the gallery). We didn't get too lost, and found her in the lobby. She took it up to her room, then we went out for a cappuccino in the Campo San Stefano. Thelma had had to leave her home with next door's tree in her garden and the journey to Gatwick had been hairy. We agreed to meet for dinner on Friday - Thelma to book Da Raffaele's for 8 p.m., and we are to meet up on the Accademia Bridge a quarter of an hour earlier. She also told us about a cat show to be held on Saturday. We then set off on our own (in the totally wrong direction) but after retracing our steps we got to Piazza San Marco and found the tourist office (useless). We then walked to the Rialto (easy, signposted) then got lost again but, in the Campo San Paolo, saw signs to the Accademia and eventually made our way home. We decided to have a lunch rather than dinner so went to the Cantinone Storico (that we had noticed earlier) (gnocchi di patate in burro con salvia (M) seppie in umido con polenta (J) coda di rospo alla griglia (M), insalata mista, mezzo bianco, minerale, cappuccini - £51,000). After a quick return to the flat, we went to the Peggy Guggenheim collection of modern art (mostly very good) and then for a stroll back along the Zattere and round the edge to the Salute and back to the flat. After a rest and a shallow bath (strange plumbing!) we caught the No. 1 vaporetto to San Zaccharia where we bought tickets for an evening concert. We strolled along the Riva degli Schiavoni and back to the church and sat on hard pews waiting for the concert to begin. It turned out to be a gentleman playing a sort of concertina with a keyboard at each end (Cimarosa, Bach, Scarlatti and Handel). Walked back to San Marco and got the vaporetto over to the Salute (£1,000).

  Tuesday - Had a cup of tea then popped round to the grocers for more pannini and cheese, and a local paper. We set out again and crossed the Grand Canal on the local traghetto (only £500 for two) - we sat down though the locals were standing. We went to the San Marco imbarcadero and bought day tickets for the vaporetti, then got the No. 5 circular that went through the Arsenale and round to the Fondamente Nuove. There we got the No. 2 to Burano and Torcello, stopping at San Michelle (cemetery) and Murano. We walked around Torcello, visiting the basilica (mosaics etc) and then had lemon sodas at a bar. Then it was time for lunch (sat outside with dogs, cats, chickens etc - risotto alla pesce, grilled white fish, insalata mista, fresh fruit salad, mezzo bianco, minerale (£51,000)).

  Burano

  We then walked back to the landing stage and caught the next boat to Burano. Walked about a bit then caught a boat back to Torcello and on to Murano. Walked about, visited the glass museum (not bad) and didn't get pestered at all (siesta time?). Caught an overcrowded boat back to the Fondamente Nuove and walked back to San Marco via Santa Maria dei Miracoli - No. 1 vaporetto back to the Salute and home about 5.30. After a good rest, we walked along the Zattere to the Trattoria San Trovaso to find it closed so walked back to a ristorante/pizzeria on the Zattere (ravioli, fegato alla veneziana (M) cotoletta alla milanese (J), mezzo rosso, minerale). We had a cappuccino standing up at a bar, then back to the flat - put the rubbish out.

  Wednesday - After breakfast we used up our day ticket on a No. 1 from the Salute to the Ca d'Oro (good in parts) then on to Santa Maria Assunta (the Gesuiti - closed for repair). Then we visited the nice little church of Santa Maria dei Miracoli, back past the Ca d'Oro to the church of the Madonna del Orta (10 minutes before it closed). On our way back we found a fresh pasta shop, so we bought some for our lunch, and changed some travellers's cheques at the Rialto. Then we bought some plum tomatoes to make a sauce and walked home past the Accademia. Lunch was late as the cooker was very inefficient. In the afternoon we found the English church of St George (closed) and walked over the Accademia Bridge and on towards San Marco, buying (then eating) a piece of torta di ricotta (£3,000!) in a beautiful shop on the way. We walked past the Luna (where we stayed before) and through the little streets past the "Chat qui riz" (now a self-service) and round back to San Marco, and wandered around for a while, past the Greek church, back to the grocers on the traghetto. Dinner that evening was at Ai Cugnai (gnoocchi al ragu (M) risotto al pomodoro (J), frittura mista, tiramisù)

  Thursday - After breakfast we walked along the Zattere, posted some postcards, looked around the Gesuiti and caught the No. 5 to Giudecca. Walked along the front to the church of the Redentore then on the Santa Maria della Presentazione (closed) then back detouring round the back of the island. It started to rain then and we got soaked, eventually popping into a bar for a coffee. We then returned home, changed, and hung out clothes to dry, then went out to lunch at the Trattoria San Trovaso (rigatoni (J) tagliatelle con panna & funghi (M), petti di pollo con funghi (J) sogliola (grilled on the bone) (M), chips and insalata mista, mezzo bianco, minerale (£38,000)). After lunch we went round the Cini collection (good but oddly arranged) then over to the Accademia and back via a little shop that sold artistic postcards (bought six - they are framed together on my living room wall). While Maureen washed her hair, I went to a local supermarket and bought some biscuits, and some Amaretto to take home. Then we dressed up as posh as we could and set out for La Fenice, having a white wine at the crowded bar next door first. The opera was "Beatrice di Tenda" by Bellini - quite an experience, but the wooden seats were rather uncomfortable (we were up in the gods). One day I shall return (as it has been rebuilt after yet another fire).

  Friday - Woke up to sirens warning of "acqua alta" - raining again - and Maureen popped out for breakfast provisions. After breakfast we visited the Salute then went over to San Marco, walking round the Piazza (some of which was under water) and into the Correr Museum. After that we walked over duckboards into the Basilica to see the Pala d'Oro, then out to look for lunch. Fund a place that looked OK and had a "menu turistico" (zuppa in verdura (M) maccheroni with tomatoes and pinenuts (J), frittura mista (M) braciole (pork chop) ai ferrai (J), tiramisù, coffee, mezzo bianco, minerale (£44,000)).

  Maureen & H.M.S. Bristol

  Walked around, coming out on the Riva near the Naval History Museum (closed) - walked towards the Arsenale and saw HMS Bristol moored alongside (recognised the coat of arms). More walking (lots of cats in the Giardini Pubblichi), emerging into Via Garibaldi then back to San Marco and home. We had a bath then changed for dinner with Thelma. We walked to the Accademia bridge where we were both a bit early then on to Da Raffaele's. We had tizianos (like bellinis but made with strawbery juice) as an aperitivo. Thelma asked for the tourist menu with no intention of ordering from it. (prosciutto coi fichi (M) bresaola (J) antipasto (Th), John Dory, assorted veg, tiramisù (M, twice in one day!) formaggio (J, Th). Eventually staggered home.

  Saturday - Fog horns woke us up today - but at least it wasn't raining. After our usual breakfast we set off, over to San Marco then along the Riva to the Naval History Museum - rather large, but very interesting. We then meandered to the Rialto and looked around the markets, then on to San Polo and on to the Frari, stopping off at a trattoria for lunch (paglia & fieno alla panna & prosciutto, scallopine ai funghi, inslata mista, zucchini trifolati, mezzo bianco, minerale (£43,000)). Walked in a large circle to the Scuola San Rocca (closed for lunch) and on to San Giovanni Evangelista (via kitten asleep in shop window) and back to the Scuola (some nice paintings by Titian, Bellini etc). We then saw a "Light, Sound, Waves" exhibition advertised and went in - a Japanese lady pianist played Mozart for an hour and a half (it was a sit down).

  Lo squero

  We emerged into the cat show and found Thelma there already - admired the beautiful cats then made our way home, buying breakfast on the way, via the squero that looked just like in the paintings. There was a gift of a handmade diary sort of book (from The Magic of Italy) waiting on the doorstep. Dinner was at All' Angellos near San Marco (big mistake) (antipasto asortito (M) prosciutto & salami (J), asked for mezzo bianco and got given a bottle of Soave, ossobucco with fettucine (M) frittura mista d'Adriatico (J), insalata mista, no afters or coffee (£90,000)).

  Saturday - Set out after breakfast, looking into the English church on our way (and being captured by the vicar, then saved by the captain of the HMS Bristol). We saw a poster advertising a special exhibition at the Cini Foundation so headed back to San Marco and over to San Giorgio Maggiore, the Cini foundation being next door to the church. The exhibition of sketches of Venice was very good indeed. We went back to San Trovaso for lunch (rigatoni alla San Trovaso (M) "woodcutter's" tortellini (J), frittura mista (M) soglio con spinaci (J), apple cake and tiramisù (shared). Meandered back via the Zattere, finished packing, put out the rubbish and left for the Salute vaporetto stop where we found Karen (a Magic rep) - back to Treviso and eventually home.

• Holiday #1 1988 - Andalucia (Thomas Cook tour)

  Sunday 22nd May - We took Munchkin to Mrs Goater's as usual, finished packing etc and got a taxi to the station at 11.15. We booked in our luggage at the British Airways office at Victoria and got to Gatwick by 11.55, the delayed flight eventually leaving at 15.40, arriving at Malaga but our luggage didn't. Another couple had done the same as us and were also missing their luggage - we won't do that again. Malaga looked a bit of a dump but the jacaranda trees were in full bloom. We had dinner at the hotel's restaurant (in our travelling clothes) - it had a fine view over the port (no choice - vegetable soup, salad with olives, swordfish, egg custard). We were woken by the porter just past midnight - my suitcase had arrived, Maureen's would be here mañana.

  Monday - Maureen wore one of my t-shirts to breakfast, but her suitcase did actually turn up pretty quickly. Boarded the coach for a short tour of Malaga then off to Granada, stopping for a drink at Loja. We booked into our second hotel just after twelve, got our room keys (but no luggage yet) and set out for lunch. We found an open-air restaurant called "La Mimbre" by the entrance to the "Generalife". We ordered "plate no. 4" which was tortilla espanole, salad and something untranslatable that turned out to be a pork chop. All went down very well with some vino blanco.

  Maureen in the Alhambra gardens

  Me in the Alhambra

  The afternoon was spent at the Alhambra - all very magnificent, but tiring in the heat - then the gardens of the Generalife and back to the hotel for a bath and a nap. Dinner (had a table to ourselves) was mushroom soup, fish fillet, lamb? stew with chickpeas, nasty ice-cream.

  Tuesday - After a buffet breakfast, we set off on a tour of Christian Granada, the market and the Sacromonte. The guide's English was laughable, but we got the picture. We were then taken to see a deconsecrated Carthusian monastery (beautiful kitten in the courtyard), then after some free time (flower market) it was back to the hotel and out again for a late lunch at La Mimbre again (tortilla and mixed salad, white rioja). The alternative comedian Alexei Sayle was at another table with his wife, and one of our group asked for his autograph - and was told to bugger off. We wandered back to the Generalife (tickets still valid) and sat in the shade. Dinner that night was not much good - a soup of green beans and ham, chicken, watermelon, all accompanied by some medical students singing loudly.

  Wednesday - After an early breakfast we were driven through fields of olive and almond trees, sunflowers and tobacco to Cordoba, stopping at Alcalá for a drink. We were all dropped off at the cathedral as the coach couldn't get to the hotel because of the feria (horse fair). We looked round the impressive mosque cum cathedral, then round the Jewish quarter. We then tried to find our hotel, getting lost and asking several times in dreadful Spanish - eventually found it (and our luggage). We had a lunch of tortilla, fish, salad, then wandered down through the feria (people riding around on horseback, the ladies in Sevilliana costume if riding behind a man, or in trousers if riding alone). Got a bit lost again but found the Alcazar gardens then back to the hotel. Buffet dinner was very good - gazpacho, cold meats and salad, beef in some sort of sauce (with chips), creme caramel. The feria went on all night but we managed to sleep through it.

  Thursday - After a decent breakfast I nipped out to buy a Spanish newspaper and we set off at 8.45 for a quick tour of Cordoba and then off to Écija for a pleasant little wander and a drink then on to Seville. After checking in at yet another hotel we went out for a light lunch and walked to the Alcazar, being unofficially guided round some of it by a little old man. We then went to the cathedral (dreary) and back to the hotel for dinner - fried fish (heads on), pork chop with chips, an apple. After dinner we were taken to the Patio Sevilliana for a display of flamenco and other Spanish dancing - mostly very good.

  Friday - The planned trip to Jerez was called off for no apparent reason so, after a nasty breakfast we walked to Pilate's house - in the Mudéjar style with a pleasant courtyard where we sat in the shade for an hour. We had lunch at a local bar (gazpacho, roast chicken and chips) then a siesta. Dinner was rather horrible.

  Saturday - After a simple breakfast we set off again, past a reservoir where we saw several herons, up into the mountains (stop to photograph the Zahara) and on to Ronda where we sat on the terrace of the hotel waiting for our rooms to be ready. Then we sat in a bar and had splendid tapas for lunch (and two glasses of vino blanco). We walked round the quite nice cathedral and then got captured by another unofficial guide (French lady) who showed us the rest of the little town. Dinner was rather ordinary (soup, fried fish) then we sat on the terrace waiting for sunset.

  Sunday - we were dumped in Torremolinos to wait for the flight home. What a truly horrendous place!

• Holiday #2 1988 - Lancaster University summer programme

  Saturday 23 July - Took Munchkin to Mrs Goater's in the afternoon, packed and watched Don Giovanni live from the Royal Opera House in the evening.

  Sunday - Set off north just before 9, and stopped for lunch at the Cross Keys in Skipton (haddock and chips). We arrived at Lancaster about 2.30 and got booked into a double room in Cark 8 building (on the ground floor, next to a kitchen). After the same introductory talk as last year we went to dinner (tomato soup, roast chicken, lemon meringue pie, Wensleydale cheese) and then to the introductory course talks (Frank Salter for music, Ian Brodie for local rambles). At the wine reception we met Dr Trevor Pearce from last year.

  Monday - Woke up just before 7 for the weather forecast (cloudy with showers) then went to breakfast. The music course was in the Jack Hylton Music Room and was about Don Giovanni (very enjoyable). Lunch was asparagus and mushroom flan with sweetcorn and potatoes.

  Trudge, trudge, trudge

  We changed for walking and the minibus took us to Ellel Grange where we set out across the fields. The weather was warm but windy and the ground was muddy in parts. We reached Thurnham Hall, then went down to the canal, stopped for a drinks break and walked along the towpath. We actually got back to the campus on time (first time ever) and had a rest before dinner (orange juice, carbonade of beef, peaches and cream, cheese and biscuits. We went to Frank's lecture ("A Scottish Slayer's Spouse Sings" - about Verdi's "Macbeth").

  Tuesday - Frank continued with Don Giovanni, comparing and contrasting a live performance from Covent Garden (Thomas Allen & Kiri Te Kanawa) with the Josep Losey film set in the Veneto - all very interesting. Cold buffet for lunch (had seconds of the gooseberry pie). We went to the bookshop after lunch and I bought a book of Italian short stories that had parallel English and Italian text. In the afternoon we were driven through Lancaster to Sunderland Point from where we walked across fields (lots of stiles - Maureen is not good with them) to Morecombe Bay where we walked along the coast to Sambo's Grave and back to Sunderland Point. Had to do a quick change for an early dinner (paté, roast lamb, strawberry sponge, brie) and then a minibus into Lancaster for a live, open-air performance of "As You Like It" in the Williamson Park, being led from scene to scene (from the Aston Memorial, pigsty, woodland grove, grotto, lake) often in pouring rain. The minibus got us home just before midnight.

  Wednesday - The morning's lecture was about Weber's "Der Freischütz" - we liked the music but not the strange video. After lunch the walk was from Conger Green, over fields and more stiles to the Lancaster Canal, then along the towpath to Glasson Dock - weather dry and mostly sunny. After a decent dinner we went to a lecture on King Arthur (absolute crap from beginning to end) and then to a concert by the Preston Opera Group (Frank was his usual self).

  Thursday - The music this morning was "Tosca" - CDs and videos by various people - very enjoyable. After lunch it was raining, so we put on our rain gear from the start. It was a circular walk from and to Abbeystead church, through long grass (very wet) and past a spectacular weir. At one point we had to scramble across a raging torrent that had been a gentle stream on the morning's walk. There were very many stiles and Maureen was quite tired at the end, though it was only a four mile walk. Back in our room we had a cup of tea and spread everything out to dry, stuffing newspapers into our boots. Dinner was fruit cocktail, roast beef, fresh fruit, cheese. The lecture was about bats (quite interesting) and this was followed by a balloon debate (I voted for Omar Khayyam, Maureen for Richard I, somebody else won).

  Friday - Continued with "Tosca" this morning, moving to the Cartmel Lecture Theatre halfway through because of workmen clearing the roof of rain. We wore our wet weather gear again in the afternoon (but nobody else did) and were driven to Scorton, walking up a lane and down to the river. We walked along by the river to an aquaduct and a reservoir then uphill to an inspection tank where we had a drinks break. We continued up and over the top (only one stile today) then back in the minibus just as it started to rain again. In the evening there was a sherry reception and the formal dinner (we sat with ramblers) - melon with prawns, best end of neck, strawberries, cheese, lots of wine.

  Saturday - Early breakfast and away by 8.40, getting home at 2.30 after a stop at The Fox for a ploughman's. Went to Sainsbury's and picked up Munch.

• Holiday #3 1988 - Varenna (Lake Como)

  Sunday 11th September - Had trouble capturing Munchkin, but eventually managed it and took her to Mrs Goater's just after nine. We got a taxi to the station at about ten, a train to Kings Cross (via the Hertford loop), then the Gatwick Express from Victoria, booking in at 12.25. The plane was 20 minutes late taking off, and we had seats either side of the aisle. We were met by Silvia, the rep, and the coach took us through Lecco to Varenna and dropped us off at the hotel (Royal Victoria) before continuing to Bellagio and Menaggio. We went down to dinner just after eight - tagliolini (J) insalata alla caprese (M), lavorello (local fish) with almonds, apple tart with cheese (J) fresh fruit (M).

  Monday - The church bells woke us up, and we went down to a buffet breakfast about eight. We walked around Varenna to get out bearings and then returned to the hotel for a meeting with Silvia - booked a trip to Bergamo on Thursday. We walked down to the lake and along the passerella, eventually deciding on the Trattoria Cavallino for lunch (pasta shells with sausage and tomato sauce, simple salad, vino bianco). We walked back to the hotel and sat on the terrace for a while, then walked down to the Villa Cipresi and walked around the gardens. The Villa Monastero, next door, was holding a conference on plasma physics. For dinner that night we had risotto alla zucca, plaice fillets, apple cake with fruit, rest of yesterday's wine. Afterwards I went to a little concert in the Chiesa San Battista (Maureen had a bad cough).

  Tuesday - After breakfast we saw a sign pointing to the Castello di Vezio, so off we went. It was a bit of a climb, often over cobbles, but there were lots of wild flowers along the way. We arrived at Vezio after about three quarters of an hour - there was a nice little church, and we sat and rested by a little cemetery. Another little climb brought us to the castello ruins - there would have been a fine view of the lake but it was still very misty. We walked back down to Varenna, via the car ferry imbarcadero, and sat in the sun for a while on the hotel's terrace. We had lunch in the Trattoria Cavallino again - home-made lasagne and salad, vino bianco, ice-cream (£26,000). After a siesta we sat on loungers at the little beach and read our books and watched the fishermen preparing their nets. When it stated to rain we sat under the wisteria pergola for a while then went to the bar across the piazza and had a cappuccino. It brightened up about six, and we went for a stroll up past the Villa Monastero as far as the railway line (flowers, butterflies, sheep) then back under the railway. Dinner was orecchiette con formaggio e prosciuto, tacchino in vino bianco, fruit tart, cheese, corvo bianco.

  Wednesday - After breakfast we went down to the imbarcadero and got the ferry across to Menaggio and on to Bellagio which is on a sort of promontory where the lake divides into two.

  A Varenna miscellany

  We walked round as far as a small harbour, then back and up to the town square and along the lakeside. We waited at the entrance of the Villa until an Italian girl appeared and sold us tickets for the guided tour. Maureen had a coughing fit and was given Fishermen's Friends by an Englishman. We were taken up a zigzag path, stopping at various points for the view and an explanation in English, French, German and Italian - told not to photograph the villa or its guests. The air was a lot clearer today and you could see the three arms of the lake and even the Alps to the north. We found a little restaurant with a walled garden for lunch (ravioli, salad) then walked down to the gardens of the Villa Melzi and sat by a sort of Indian summerhouse. After a siesta we walked further along the lakeside to the chapel and then around the top part of the gardens and a little museum. Then we went back to the town and had a gelato and caught the 4.45 boat back (with a school party). Dinner that night was panzeroti with ricotta and spinach (M) pasta with anchovy, capers and peppercorns (J), brasato di manzo (M) scallopine (with kidneys), tiramisù and fruit.

  Thursday - After a late breakfast (the bells didn't wake me up today) we walked up past the cemetery and up some steps marked "al baluardo" (to the bulwarks). The path got too rough for Maureen so we turned back, walking along the main road nearly as far as the little village of Fiumelatte (whose river is supposedly the shortest in Italy - 290 metres). We stopped in an "alimentari" to buy panini and formaggio for lunch (on the terrace). After lunch we set off for the imbarcadero and caught the coach for the trip to Bergamo - taking about an hour and a half through rather a lot of industry. The città bassa looked chic and prosperous, and we were driven right up to the città alta, through St Augustine's gate and round the walls. It started raining as our local guide (Fiorella) walked us up the main drag to the Piazza Vecchia where we sheltered under the justice hall for a mini lecture. Thunder and lightning then accompanied us across to the civic chapel (dark, but nice wooden marquetry panels) and it was bucketing down as we dashed next door to the Colleoni chapel. After that we dashed to the nearest bar and had a cappuccino and walnut cake, then back to the coach (most people were early) - I must return in better weather. Traffic was very heavy on our way back, but we caught the weather forecast for tomorrow (reasonable). Dinner was gnocchinetti di patate, pollo con tartufo (M) cervo (J), apple tart, bottle of Verduzzo (frizzante).

  Friday - After breakfast we caught a ferry across to Cadenabbia and had a quick look round (nothing much to see) then went to the Villa Carlotta. Only part of the villa itself was open (paintings by Gainsborough, Reynolds etc), had a quick look at the botanical garden then walked to Tremezzo and got an aliscafo back to Varenna for lunch at the Trattoria Cavallino - ravioli, salad, apple cake (£25,500). After lunch we went back to the hotel for our anoraks and walked up towards Esimo. It wasn't very interesting walking so we branched off to Vezio again and sat in the sun for a while before returning to the hotel. Quieter for dinner as the physicists had gone - lasagne, sea bream with saffron sauce, tiramisù, bottle of Gavi.

  Saturday - Sat on the terrace for a while after breakfast, then went to the Villa Monastero to look round the terraced gardens. We had lunch at the Trattoria dei Pescatori for a change - gnocchettini verdi al gorgonzola, lavorello alla griglia (M) calamari fritti (J), salad, vino bianco (£44,000 but very good). The weather was warm and sunny so we spent the afternoon on the terrace reading and dozing. Dinner was farfarelle with a tomato and meat sauce (J) buccharoni with spinach and ham (M), veal vutlet (J) medaglione di manzo with peppercorns (M), torta di frutta, cheese, local wine. Something to do with the Grand Prix was happening in the square - flash cars and ladies in microskirts.

  Sunday - Went for a morning stroll (Radio Milan van still in the square but nothing else happening) along the front nearly as far as the tunnel then back via the imbarcadero (loads of cyclists waiting to cross) and the passerella. Said goodbye to Alberto (the hotel's black cat) and took our suitcases down to reception. Had lunch at "La Varenna Vechia" with a table on the terrace next to the lake. It was a set menu with many small courses, each accompanied by a glass of something appropriate. An aperitivo of some fried morsel on a stick and a glass of sparkling wine - antipasto - insalata capriciosa ("freakish salad" on the English menu)- seppioline in a tomato sauce with peas - penne in a beer sauce with bacon - risolinno al Barolo - lavorello with spinach (main course - very good indeed) - ice-cream with sultanas soaked in a liqueur and a chocolate sauce - coffee (£70,000 and worth it). Back to the hotel and the coach (I nearly got left behind in the loo). It took over two hours to crawl through the traffic - plane was 45 minutes late taking off - engineering work on the line between Kings Cross and Stevenage - got home just after ten.

• Holiday #1 1989 - Verona (Opera Study Tour)

  Following the "Music for Pleasure" courses that we had enjoyed at Lancaster University Summer Programmes, we had developed a liking for Opera, and had been going down to London to see several at the London Coliseum (sung in English by the English National Opera). This year Lancaster University, in an extension of its Summer Programme, had organised a study trip to Verona with the irrepressible Frank Salter - we just had to go.

  Sunday 9th July - We had taken Munchkin to Mrs Goater's last night so that we could set off earlier than normal. Got to Gatwick just before midday to discover that our flight was delayed by a couple of hours - had a tasteless salad for lunch. We eventually boarded the plane just before six, and it took off at 6.45 (we should have been in our hotel by then). It stopped in Trieste first, then flew low (14,000 ft) to Verona where a coach took us to the Hotel Catullo in Bardolino. After picking up our keys we were all ushered into the dining room for a very late dinner (rigatoni al ragù, cotoletta di vitello, peaches and ice-cream - all went down a treat). We went to sleep rapidly, but were woken up again by a violent thunderstorm.

  Monday - After a simple breakfast we went for a stroll down the lakeside and through the town, getting back in time for an initial meeting at ten. Frank explained the Verona system to us and handed out tickets. We then went for another stroll in the opposite direction and then had lunch in a little trattoria (ravioli with ricotta, mixed salad, vino bianco, acqua minerale). Had another stroll along the lungolago until it started to rain when we sheltered in a bar. We went down to the lungolago again and sat and read the plot of "Aida", returning to the hotel for dinner (farfalle with a vegetable sauce, grilled steak with Swiss chard etc., fresh fruit, bottle of Bardolino, minerale) followed by Frank's first lecture (in the dining room) after which we went out for a coffee. Had a good night's sleep!

  Tuesday - After breakfast we had a two-hour lecture on Aida and then it was time for lunch (gnocchi di semolina, turkey stew, ice-cream). We set off to the coach park at 4.30 remembering to take our room key with us because we would be late back. We got to Verona at 5.15 and didn't have much of a look round because we were advised to start queueing - we just bought some panini to eat later, and had a quick look at Juliet's balcony (local tourist trap), touching her left breast for luck. We were in the "seconda graduata" queue while Frank and a few others were in the "prima graduata" one - hmm.

  The Arena in Verona

  We bought a programme that covered all the operas (£10,000). Eventually, with the help of the carabinieri, the gates opened and we trouped in, remembering to hire cushions on the way (£1,500 each). We found a reasonable site on the right hand side, not too far from the stage, and ate our panini. It was all very interesting just looking at the other people (mostly Italian) arriving and at the sellers of panini, bibite, gelati etc. It wasn't until about 8.30 that people started to arrive at the seats in the poltrone. Dress varied from jeans and t-shirts to elegant dresses that ladies might wear to La Scala (even in our part of the steps). The sky slowly darkened, looked a bit threatening in places, and then it started to drizzle. The orchestra hurried on, played 13 bars of the overture and hurried off (if the opera begins and is then abandoned because of bad weather you don't get a refund). Amidst the catcalls, we put on our wet weather gear and Maureen hoisted her umbrella, and we sat and awaited developments. They covered the stage, the orchestra pit and parts of the posh seats with polythene sheeting, then there was an announcement that there would be another announcement in twenty minutes. It was still raining steadily and people came round selling "impermeabili" (plastic macs - £3,500). Eventually there was an announcement that the rain would stop in 15 minutes - it did. The polythene sheeting was removed, an "Egyptian" came on with a gong to announce the start and, an hour late, the opera restarted. The singers are not "miked-up" and it takes a little while for your ears to get used to the acoustics; the stage is very big, but the actors didn't seem too small. The singers were all very good, especially Aida herself (I have lost the programme so can't remember any names). At the end of the first act a fork-lift truck came on and rearranged the scenery. Act two ends with a grand parade - four horses, but no elephants I'm afraid. We were getting a bit chilly by act three, and a bit tired by act four - the stone steps are rather hard to sit on, even with a cushion. A cat ran across the stage at the start of act four (not part of the plot). Getting out at the end was a bit of a crush, but we made it back to the coach by 2.30 and we were back at the hotel an hour later.

  Wednesday - We were woken up by wind rattling the shutters and workmen digging up the road. After a late breakfast we had a lecture on Nabucco then popped out to buy some panini and a bottle of acqua minerale. We ate our lunch down on the lungolago then in the afternoon we set off on a coach-trip to Vicenza, arriving about 2.45. A local guide arrived (good English, and very interesting) and we were driven to the Villa Rotunda (by Andrea Palladio) - we recognised it from the Joseph Losey film of Don Giovanni. A very worthwhile visit, and beautiful surroundings (especially in the blazing sunshine). Back in Vicenza, we went to the Teatro Olipmpico - a fascinating place, like a wooden arena with a strange stage depicting the seven streets of Thebes in a sort of perspective. We somehow missed the final visit (to the main square) but caught up with everybody back at the coach. Dinner was cannelloni, insalata caprese, gateau. There was a concert in the square that evening - the town band and a choir - mostly popular songs.

  Thursday - There was a trip to Venice organised for today but we had decided against it. It was a brilliantly sunny day with clear views across the lake. We walked north, along the lakeside, all the way to Garda (full of Germans), had té freddo, a quick walk round the town and then got a boat back to Bardolino, having lunch at a fish restaurant that had been recommended - trota salmonata and salad - delicious. After a siesta we walked along the front but it was very hot so walked up to a park and sat in the shade before going back to the hotel. Dinner was spaghetti with an anchovy sauce, tonno e fagioli; this was followed by an hour's lecture on Nabucco

  Friday - Got up late so abandoned our plan to walk up to La Rocca so did a little shopping instead. This morning's lecture was on "La Forza del Destino". It was very hot at lunchtime and, after a short stroll along the front, we had lunch in the hotel (tagliatelle with a creamy ham sauce, grilled lake trout with fennel) then a siesta (noisy workmen still doing the road). The coach left at six and we were a bit late, having to park the coach on the other side of the Adige. Queues were longer than last time but we got in eventually and, without stopping to rent cushions, we went up to the left of the stage and eventually found a place at the very top (with only a thin railing to stop us plummeting). We ate the panini and apricots that we had bought earlier and then it started to rain and get rather cold. An announcement said it would last for 40 minutes, but it got heavier and heavier with thunder and lightning and, at about 9.45 everybody started to move towards the exits - we followed. All the bars were full of steaming people so we made our way back to the coach, soaked through. Some local kids came round and bought our £15,000 tickets for £10,000 (they would get the full price tomorrow, but we couldn't be bothered). We got back to the hotel by midnight and hung up our wet clothes - an evening to remember.

  Saturday - After breakfast we went for a walk and found the Chiesa San Zeno. A second lecture on "La Forza del Destino" took us up to lunch (pasta with devilled chicken (M) ravioli zuppa (J), medallion of beef, bottle of Soave). After a siesta we went for a walk and sat and watched a lizard chewing a large insect. We bought panini and provalone, and some little cakes, for the opera then got ready for the opera. We got to Verona earlier than yesterday but the driver had problems finding somewhere to park. We got to the arena queue in reasonable time and got in fairly early, finding somewhere to sit on the left of the stage, in line with the conductor. We got ourselves settled in and ate our panini etc. The opera started on time. Maria Chiara sang Leonora and was very good; the typical Italian tenor sang better than he acted, but still got plenty of bravos. The opera finished about 2.15 and we made it back fairly promptly.

  Sunday - We had a fairly early last breakfast and went for a walk - it was hot and sunny (I was wearing shorts!). Lunch was tagliatelle with prosciuto and cream (M) rigattone al quattro formaggi (J), scallopine al vino bianco (M) ditto al limone (J), insalata mista, mezzo bianco, minerale, frutta, cappuccino (£42,000). After lunch we walked round the headland and sat somewhere shady. The coach left at 4.30, our flight was late arriving and we eventually boarded at 9.15 - bit of a panic for the unnumbered seats. The pilot told us that French air-traffic control was on strike so we were rerouted via Austria, Germany and Belgium. The pilot attempted a takeoff but had to do an emergency stop because of a red warning light - took off OK on second attempt. We landed at Gatwick at 10.40 UK time and got through the formalities very quickly, getting home at 1.15 a.m. Got up early the next morning, picked up Munch and went to work.

• Holiday #2 1989 - Lancaster University Summer Programme

  This year we both went on their walking "course" called "Lakeland Walks for Softies". These were full day walks that were designed not to be too strenuous, and to always include a lunch stop at a country pub or similar.

  Sunday 6th August - We had taken Munchkin to Mrs Goater's yesterday evening. We had an early breakfast, did a few chores, then set off just before nine. Traffic was not too bad, and we stopped for a quick lunch in Ilkley like last year (cheese salad, beer). We were getting to Lancaster quite early, so we turned off an had a little tour through the Trough of Bowland, Tarnbeck and Abbeystead. When we booked in we were allocated a pair of single rooms in County College, almost opposite each other. After the usual introductory talk, dinner was soup, chicken, lemon meringue pie, cheese; then we went to the course introduction and the sherry reception as usual.

  Monday - After breakfast Maureen went to the Summer Programme office to complain about having no reading lamp by her bed, and no mug for morning tea. Then we boarded the minibus (one of a pair for this course) and set off through Galgate and up the motorway towards Kendal, branching off to Grange-over-sands. We walked up through Eggerslack Wood (stiff climb in hot, sunny weather - old woods coppiced for charcoal) and up again to Hampsfield Fell (limestone pavement) stopping by the tower at the top for a drink. The descent down the other side, through fields of cows, was steep in part but we arrived safely in Cartmel about noon and had a pub lunch at the Cavendish Arms (ordered the night before via Ian Brodie) - beef and ham sandwiches, "death by chocolate" (very good). We wandered round the town and were then shown round the Priory, before walking back up Hampsfield Fell through the golf course and back to Grange. Had a look round then were driven back to Lancaster. Dinner was fruit juice, gammon, cheese (we gave chocolate ice-cream a miss). We went to Ian's talk on "The Cistercian Way" - included today's walk to Cartmel.

  A lakeland miscellany

  Tuesday - We drove up the motorway to Ambleside and then through Windermere and up the Langdale valley, parking in a National Trust carpark. We set off up and over a river, round the bottom edge of Lingmoor Fell and then there was a steep ascent over to the Little Langdale valley (stopping at the top for a drink) where we walked over a road and round the right-hand side of Blea Tarn (of which more in 2014) and through woods, rhododendrons and bracken to the head of the valley, crossing a little stream that had sundews by it. We walked over fields and a stone bridge to Tilberthwaite for lunch and an hour's rest at the Three Shires (paté ploughmans, beer - excellent). Off we went again, round the edge of Lingmoor, past Eltermere and back to the carpark (about 8 miles walk in total). Dinner was tasteless veggie paté, roast lamb, gateaux, cheese. We went to an interesting lecture by Dr John Walton on "Fish & chips and the British working class 1870-1930" and then on to the barn dance. Staggered to bed just after eleven.

  Wednesday - Raining, and set to be wet all day according to the radio. Drove towards Grange, as yesterday, parking at Mill Side just off the A590. We walked up the road and then a bridleway through woods past Witherslack Hall and through more woods and past the cliffs at Whitbarrow. We had a drinks break in the pouring rain and then walked through more woods, emerging onto the A5074 at the Lyth Valley Hotel for lunch. We were warned that it was a posh hotel and we would have to stand up to eat it, but we were shown where we could put our wet boots, and then to bathrooms where we could dry off, then welcomed (in our socks or bare feet) to tables in the public bar. Lunch was ham sandwiches, sticky toffee pudding - not bad. We struggled back into our wet boots, but our waterproofs were all now dry. We retraced our steps a little then worked our way up through fields and moorland to the top of Whitbarrow (drizzle, then more steady rain); views of Morecombe Bay and the Isle of Man were hidden by the mist. Getting down was a bit hairy in the wet (Maureen had to go down on her bum at times). After waiting for everyone to regroup we set off again through more woods and down to Beck Head then got the minibus back to Lancaster. Dinner was melon, trout, sherry triffle, cheese. We missed the lecture and went back to stuff newspaper in our boots then got down early for Frank Salter's evening of Gilbert and Sullivan - very enjoyable. Went to the balloon debate and then to bed.

  Thursday - We learnt later that the plan was to cross the Morecombe Bay sands today, but the weather made it too dangerous. Anyway, after a cooked breakfast we put on our still-damp boots and set off as before through Ambleside and turned off over Peter's Bridge and parked. We walked along by Rydal Water (a group of better walkers going over the top of Loughrigg) past a slate quarry to Grasmere. We walked round the edge of the lake to Grasmere village, waiting 20 minutes for the splinter group. Went to see Wordsworth's grave (American tourist with a video camera asked us what town we were in) then had lunch in Tweedies (vegetable soup, tuna salad and chips). We went into the W. Heaton Cooper shop and bought a print of Blea Tarn (still over my mantlepiece). We all then walked up past Dove Cottage and past Rydal Mount to the carpark. Dinner was prawns & pineapple, roast beef, fresh fruit, cheese. We went to "Ask the Family" (not very good) and then to bed.

  Friday - It was another rainy day so we drove to the Brockdale Centre and had a short walk through green lanes. We had lunch and then a film show, then a walk down to the lake and back to Lancaster [diary ends here]

• Holiday #3 1989 - Acquaviva Picena

  This holiday was organised by Pegasus Travel, a company that sadly no-longer exists - they went where no other company (certainly not the boring Citalia) went.

  Thursday 14th September - Took Munch to Mrs Goater's as usual, then had breakfast, packed and did a few chores and had lunch. We got a taxi to Luton airport at 2.30 and gave the driver our return flight details so he could pick us up again. Flight was delayed by 15 minutes to clear rabbits from the runway. We landed at Pescara and had to wait half an hour for a short connecting flight to Ancona - we were early, and the rep was still in the bar and transport had not arrived yet. At 10 p.m. we boarded a minicoach for an hour and a half's drive up the motorway to San Benedetto del Tronto where we were met by the hotel minibus and the hotelier's English (well Geordie) wife, and his young son. At the hotel (O'Viv) we were shown straight into the dining room - vegetable soup (had seconds), chicken with peppers, aubergine and a lemon sauce, pineapple cake, coffee, bottle of white wine on the house. Our room was very small with a tiny cupboard and hardly room to move round the bed - it had a ceiling decorated with blue shells in Liberty style.

  Friday - Birds, bells and the clock tower woke us up at seven. No water in the bathroom (or anyone else's) - aparently the plumbers had been in the day before and turned off the main stopcock and the tank had emptied overnight. Breakfast was a bit disorganised but coffee arrived after the water returned. Went back and did our ablutions then down again to meet the minibus. Piero (the hotelier) drove us all to Offida where we met the rep. We started in the Piazzale del Merlettaia where there was a modern bronze showing three generations of lacemakers. We walked up through the old town where ladies were sitting outside their houses making lace (opportunity to buy!). The town is quite nice with plenty of good churches (especially Santa Maria della Rocca, which is very popular for weddings). Back in the main square we stopped for a drink and then got the minicoach back to the hotel for lunch. The waiter realised we were English, panicked, and phoned Muriel who came down and asked us what we wanted - tagliatelle coi funghi, insalata mista, minerale. We had a siesta and then went out to explore the little town. There are little nondescript streets, medieval walls and good views over the surrounding countryside; the main square is dominated by the Rocca - splendid views from the top, and a nice little garden under the walls. Went back to the hotel and had a shower - the shower wets the entire bathroom so you then have to paddle to the loo. Dinner was fusilli with peas, ham and cream, pork chop with parsley, peas and chips, millefiori, bottle of rosso piceno.

  Saturday - Plenty of hot water in the bathroom today. After breakfast Maureen went to the local farmacia for some anti-histamine cream (she thinks she was bitten when we sat outside at Pescara airport). We were supposed to visit a farm today but plans were changed (supposedly because it was too wet but Maureen had overheard a heated conversation in Italian that hinted at something else). Anyway, Muriel drove the minibus to the nearby little town of Ripatransone (Riccardo, the little boy, came too). We walked up past a market to the main square, on the way walking up and down the suposedly narrowest vicolo in Italy (43 cms wide). We were shown the Palazzo Podenza, the magnificent town hall and a nondescript church then let loose for an hour and a half. There were many fine views to be had, but the countryside looked dry and barren because all the crops (sunflowers, maize etc) had been harvested. Several of the churches had onion-shaped domes; saw many well-fed cats, then a group of nuns and a monk in a bubble-car. Had a drink and a pastry at a bar in the main square while waiting to be picked up. Back at Acquaviva Picena most of the restaurants seemed to be closed but eventualy we found one that was open and had a cold lunch - prosciutto & salami, formaggio, pomodori, insalata with olives, peppers, aubergine, onions and mushrooms, bread, vino bianco, minerale. We bought postcards, stamps and a local paper on the way back to the hotel, then went down to the park under the Rocca for the rest of the afternoon (wrote a postcard in Italian for Alessandra, our Italian teacher). Dinner was crepes filled with smoked salmon, bardellino? (shredded beef rolled around a wooden stick and grilled), Dutch apple pie, cappuccino (finished off last night's wine).

  Sunday - A rest day! Had a late breakfast with no rolls (always late on Sundays) and, afterwards, we set off west and then turned southerly towards Monteprandone. There were plenty of wild flowers, lizards and thing to look at, but it got hotter and hotter and, eventually, we decided to turn back. We walked up to the Bar Centrale and had a limon-soda. Then we carried on past the Agip station and down the Via Francesco and found a track up to the Franciscan church and monastery, and the cemetery (very busy today). After a quick stop off at the hotel we went out for lunch at La Cripta (in the crypt of the San Rocca church) - penne di vampire (J) spaghetti carbonara (M), scallopine al limone, insalata mista, vino, minerale. After a siesta etc we went for another stroll, past the cemetery and down the road that leads to San Benedetto (views of the harbour and shipping); we turned left and climbed up through smallholdings of vines, olives and vegetables then up an unmade road past new apartment blocks and up through a gate by the Via delle Mura and down by the church of San Nicolo and back round to the hotel. Dinner was very leisurely - antipasto (left over from a christening in the afternoon), pasta squares with a bolognese-type sauce, scallopine all'arancia, chocolate and fruit cake, bottle of rosato.

  Monday - After breakfast we all set off for the Sibillini mountains, going through Offida (where we dropped off an older couple) and headed west, the countryside getting greener and hillier - I was sitting in the front, next to Piero, and little Riccardo sat on my lap (even though it was the first day of nursery school) - we chatted to each other in some sort of Italian, and he was fascinated by my beard. We stopped at Montefortino for a drink and comfort break. The last part of the increasingly steep road was slow and bumpy, but there were lots of wild flowers to see (scabius, gentian, bellflowers, corn-cockle, knapweed, agrimony, harebells). We put on our trainers and set off on a track to the Gola dell'Infernaccio. According to Piero the valley used to be a pass through to Rome but an earthquake had closed it off. The going was not too bad, but we would have felt safer in our walking boots. We were then driven to a picnic site and Piero put bottles of wine and water into a mountain stream to cool off. We sat at wooden benches and ate our panini and fruit (and cool wine and water) then had a cappuccino at a nearby bar. We had a look at a little chapel, then headed back, stopping at Amandola where we walked up the hill to yet another baroque church (remains of old frescoes in the vestry). We had very nice gelati at a fashionable bar (had to change a £50,000 note) then headed back to the hotel, Riccardo sitting with the women and falling asleep. Dinner was risotto al forno with a meat sauce (we both had seconds), beef braised in Rosso Piceno, pear gateau (M) pecorino (J), Rosso Piceno. Slept very well.

  Tuesday - Wrote a letter to Thelma (she would like this hotel) and posted it after breakfast. We had a stroll, sat on the belvedere in the sun, and visited the church of San Nicolo, still decorated from a recent wedding. The minibus set off at ten for the hour's drive to Ascoli Piceno; we popped into the tourist offce to get a map and brochures - the Palazzo del Popolo is next door and nearby is the church of San Francesco. We wandered down to the river and back and then found the Pinacoteca near the Piazza Arringo (£2,500). Some very nice pictures including one by my favorite artist (Carlo Crivelli) - coming out we saw lots of marriage banns posted on the wall giving dates of birth and occupations (very useful for family historians (of which more later)). We had lunch in Il Ristorante del Teatro (the sign said pizza today, but the waiter said no) - rigatoni al teatro (M) bucatoni with spicy meat and tomato (J) - took forever to come, so didn't stay for coffee. Met up with the others outside the Palazzo del Popolo and were given a short history of the town, then walked down to the Roman bridge over the Tronto and looked at an old laundry with stone troughs and slabs. We bought a little ceramic dish (still got it) and went back over the bridge and visited a couple of other churches, then back to the centre of town to visit the Duomo and wait in the square for Piero to pick us up. Heavy traffic made him late and it was slow getting back to the hotel. Dinner was spaghetti with a fish and tomato sauce, cod with tartare sauce, (after a long wait) zabaglione, verdicchio, coffee.

  Wednesday - After breakfast, we went and sat in the belvedere until ten when Piero was giving us all a tour of Acquaviva Piceno. Started at one of the oldest houses in A.P. that had been in the same family for centuries but was now lived in by two old men with no male heirs. Then down some steps to the Vicolo Trabucco (arts and crafts exhibitions) and the church and monastery of San Francesco of Asissi (in private hands), along and up the Via Marziale to another very old house (in disrepair with no money for restoration). We climbed the steps to the church of San Rocco (Roman legionnaire killed for becoming Christian); it's partially in a dangerous condition and needs special permission to hold services. Then on to the municipio (decorated walls and ceilings) and into the mayor's office (18th century oak furniture, walls and ceilings decorated with biblical scenes). Every five years 13 counciiors are elected (11 Christian Democrats and 2 Communists at the time) and they elect the mayor. Then on to the deserted Fortezza and the houses of the former Dukes of Acuquaviva; then down towards the gardens behind the Rocca and down a path to the Porta Vecchia (thick sliding doors, but the enemy could climb in through a window); the church of the Madonna della Pietà was "in restauro". We then walked up through another old gate into the town past the church of San Nicolo to the "new town" - there is a palio between the old and new town on August 4th, and a festa is held in the fortezza on the 6th. Then back to the O'Viv - it was an archbishop's palace, built just before 1500 (Piero had rented it for 5 years). For lunch most of us set out for a pizza at the Cripta. We rang the bell and a woman leaned out of an upstair's window, saw us and phoned for the waiter to come and open up. Six pizze della casa, four pizza quattro stagione, two salads, two bottles of wine, ditto water, two tortas della casa (£109,000 split between us - £11 Sterling each couple - very reasonable). We just had a siesta and a walk in the afternoon. At dinner, all the tables had been put together - award-winning paté of venison and grouse, home-made noodles with cream and smoked salmon, beef Wellington (with Brussel sprouts and salad!), baked Alaska, cappuccino and a liqueur. Everyone came up to see our bedroom ceiling.

  Thursday - After breakfast we went for a stroll, bought a bottle of Rosso Piceno in the supermarket then went back to the hotel and paid our bar bill (£104,000). Muriel drove us to Cupra Marittima (on the coast) where we transferred to the minibus to Ancona airport - after all sorts of delays and false starts we eventually took off at 4.50 arriving back at Luton at 6.15 (had to phone for the taxi) - home at 7.30.